Dear Śrīla Prabhupāda,
Please accept my prostrated obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to Your Divine
Grace.
The time for your Vyāsa-pūjā is quickly approaching, and we eagerly await this sacred day
when a disciple is given a unique opportunity to offer homage to his spiritual master on the day
of his appearance. It’s a time to express gratitude to you and to take inventory of my heart based
on the ever-fresh realizations I should have experienced while serving your instructions in deep
separation from your physical presence.
I must sadly admit, Śrīla Prabhupāda, that I have not had any new realizations this year.
Instead, I have been consumed by the pain of separation, not only from you but also from your
service. This year I have nothing to offer you except my paltry attempts to restore my health.
I could say I offer you my heart, but I should provide you with a clean heart, not a heart still
contaminated with unwanted desires. It’s been over fifty years since you offered me your service
and the holy name, replete with all the cleansing potency required to obtain a clean heart. My
heart should be a clean altar for you to sit on by this time. Regrettably, it is not.
The simple fact is that I have nothing to offer except a strong desire to please you someday. To
say that I am grateful for this desire would be inadequate. It’s what keeps me alive. It gives me
hope and a purpose for living.
On this most auspicious day of your divine appearance, Śrīla Prabhupāda, I beg you to please
find in me the sincerity to say that I am,
Your servant eternally,
Nirañjana Swami