Dear Śrīla Prabhupāda,
Please accept my prostrated obeisances in the dust of your divine lotus feet. All glories to Your Divine Grace.
nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate bhaktivedānta-svāminn iti nāmine
namas te sārasvate deve gaura-vāṇī-pracāriṇe
nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇe
I offer my respectful obeisances unto His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda, who is very dear to Lord Kṛṣṇa, having taken shelter at His lotus feet.
Our respectful obeisances are unto you, O spiritual master, servant of Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Gosvāmī. You are kindly preaching the message of Lord Caitanyadeva and delivering the Western countries, which are filled with impersonalism and voidism.
I was recently captivated by a verse and commentary I read while discussing Śrī Bṛhad-Bhāgavatāmṛta with a godbrother. Gopa-kumāra said something to the Mathurā brāhmaṇa that left a deep impression on me.
atyajaṁś ca japaṁ svīyam akṛtajñatva-śaṅkayā
vismartuṁ naiva śaknomi vraja-bhūmim imāṁ kvacit
For fear of being ungrateful, I never gave up my japa, nor for a moment was I able to forget this Vraja-bhūmi. (Bṛhad-Bhāgavatāmṛta 2.2.28)
I believe it was the first time that I reflected deeply on the fear of being ungrateful. Of course, I’ve not given up my japa. But from the commentary on this verse, I’ve learned that I still have something to be fearful about – the right mentality I should be cultivating while chanting my japa.
In the commentary to the above Bṛhad-Bhāgavatāmṛta verse, Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī elaborates:
Wanting to avoid being ungrateful, Gopa-kumāra never stopped chanting. He might justify abandoning the mantra only after attaining its final goal. If he were to stop chanting before then, he would not discover the mantra’s full benefits. Thus, to stop the chanting prematurely would amount to ingratitude, for without having bothered to receive all the mantra’s benefits, how could he properly acknowledge them?
In other words, without realizing the mantra’s full benefits, especially since his spiritual master blessed him by saying, “May you develop the right mentality for tasting the mantra’s fruit,” chanting without this goal in mind would have been tantamount to ingratitude.
Gopa-kumāra, therefore, not only never stopped chanting, but he never stopped meditating on his goal, which manifested in his ever-blossoming desire for a spontaneous and intimate friendship with Śrī Madana-gopāla.
Śrīla Prabhupāda, in a Montreal lecture on October 23, 1968, you said: “We should be always fearful that ‘Māyā may not catch me.’” I am fearful of māyā, but unfortunately, not enough. However, I now understand that I should also be fearful about being ungrateful, even though you’ve given us everything we need for pure devotional service.
On May 17, 1977, when you arrived for your last visit to the Krishna-Balaram Mandir, you delivered to your assembled disciples a short but very instructive address:
So there is nothing to be said new. Whatever I have to speak, I have spoken in my books. Now you try to understand it and continue your endeavor. Whether I am present or not present doesn’t matter. As Kṛṣṇa is living eternally, similarly, living being also lives eternally. But kīrtir yasya sa jīvati: “One who has done service to the Lord lives forever.” So you have been taught to serve Kṛṣṇa, and with Kṛṣṇa we’ll live eternally. Our life is eternal. Na hanyate hanyamāne śarīre. A temporary disappearance of this body, it doesn’t matter. Body is meant for disappearance. Tathā dehāntara-prāptiḥ.
Śrīla Prabhupāda, from these words I have understood that you taught us and will continue to teach us everything we need to serve Kṛṣṇa. But I need to be purer in my service to learn from you how to live with Kṛṣṇa eternally.
We have your books, the holy names, your temples, your vāṇī, and your example, which is so dear to our hearts. We have everything you left on this side of the vast ocean of material existence – your bhakti movement – the boat for crossing over the material ocean to the other side. Speaking for myself, however, I know I haven’t taken full advantage of all that you’ve given.
Once, during your visit to Dallas, one of your disciples stood up and asked you, “Śrīla Prabhupāda, how can I repay you?” Your response was concise and to the point: “Just remain obliged.”
On this most auspicious day of your divine appearance in this material world, I therefore fall at your lotus feet and beg you to please bless me to become fearless, with the right mentality for pleasing you.
Please make me your servant eternally,
Nirañjana Swami