Hare Krishna Dear Gurumaharaj! Happy Vyasa Puja! All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to Your Divine Grace!
Dear Gurumaharaj,
Please accept my most humble obeisances at the dust of your lotus feet! Please forgive me for the uncountable offenses that I may have committed knowingly or unknowingly at the dust of your lotus feet.
While wandering on how to start the offering,I am only overwhelmed to imagine how merciful you are, to have given me this opportunity to glorify your holiness on the auspicious occasion of your vyasa puja!
An year of constant anguish,fear,helplessness, when prayers worked miracle went by, before we would welcome your 51st year of selfless and ever enthusiastic service to Srila Prabhupada!
Whenever I have to leave the holy dham,my heart aches and cries profusely. Gurumaharaj,you even sacrificed going back to Krishna and chose to stay back here with us, tolerating such complications of health,only to fulfil the instructions of your Gurumaharaj and take us back home along with you! Unbelievable!! When will I ever appreciate your unfathomable mercy,Gurumaharaj?!
SB.9.5.15 mentions
For those who have achieved the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the master of the pure devotees, what is impossible to do, and what is impossible to give up?
https://vedabase.io/en/library/sb/9/5/15/#bb53614
I could only think of your sacrifice,you sacrificed the opportunity to go back to Krishna once again! Thank you! I am alive in Krishna consciousness because of you,Gurumaharaj.
Every time I contemplate on your extraordinary activities,I tend to think that such outstanding activities are rather natural for you to perform and thus cannot realise the magnitude of your magnanimous pastimes, Gurumaharaj! Your extraordinary quality of remaining enthusiastic no matter what obstacles comes on the way, amazes me the most. You are so great! You are our real superhero! Who faces unsurmountable challenges and comes out victorious everytime! Srila Prabhupada's Victory flag indeed!
Your love extends beyond the confinements of your disciples,to everyone in ISKCON,rather to every living being. Anyone who has ever had the greatest boon to have your association even once would agree, they felt loved and cared for. You make them feel special and wanted! All the sweet memories I had with you, is what I want to treasure in my heart! I miss our conversations so much !
Last year's safari song rightly said " emon dayal bhave keho nai re"! Who else is so kind and merciful Gurumaharaj? This time on the evening of Panchatattva Maha Abhishek you took all the trouble to give darshan to the Bengali speaking devotees once on the rooftop and again after the class,you went to see them in the Panchatattva extension hall which was completely packed with devotees who might have come all the way to Mayapur to be able to see you just once. You fulfilled our heart's desires to the fullest by delivering a super sweet lecture! The temple hall reverberated with haridhwani and ulludhwanis! Unparallel enthusiasm! Your love for the devotees is so much so that after the all tiring day ,despite giving a class for an hour already , you came down to immerse everyone in transcendental bliss all over again! "keho nai,keho nai,keho nai re,emon doyal bhave keho nai re!"
I feel so fortunate and unlimitedly grateful to the Lord for His causeless mercy who allowed me to be on this planet, to witness your transcendental activities!
SB 8.7.39 states
People in general, being bewildered by the illusory energy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, are always engaged in animosity toward one another. But devotees, even at the risk of their own temporary lives, try to save them.
https://vedabase.io/en/library/sb/8/7/39/#bb49665
In the past year when I had to go the hospital for so many times,although not for long but I only wanted to come back home. Everytime I had to wait outside,I could see people suffering, I could barely imagine how much pain you go through to give us Krishna consciousness . So much pain,unendurable sometimes. " Maar kheye Prem daye emon doyal to nai hey!" I was only wandering,even after so much pain and suffering,you chose to stay back,just to help us cross over this ocean of nuisance and go back to serve your dear Lord Gaura Nitai eternally! I was overwhelmed with guilt and happiness at the same time. Blessed of having you as my spiritual master and guilt in imagining how cruelly I have contributed to the deterioration of your health!
Once Ramya Vrindavan Mataji told me "you cannot think of Lord Gauranga without thinking of Gurumaharaj!" , I experience this every single day and moment. Mahaprabhu 's mercy is coming down to us through your nectarine classes. Your Chaitanya Lila classes are mercy boosters for me,your divine association in the form of vani, keeps me alive in Krishna consciousness!
Whenever your godbrothers and their disciples glorify your holiness,pray for you incessantly,I imagine my misfortune of not realising how glorious you are by taking you so cheaply! How special you are,and how fortunate I am! I wish to love you someday like they do. I feel the gravity of my responsibility to the movement as your disciple I have is so heavy. I wish that I live only to serve the vaishnavas and fulfil your desire that your disciples may be known all over the world for vaishnava seva! I beg You to please help me to see only the good qualities of the devotees,to cooperate no matter how hard be it for me. My consistent failure and fear of failure overwhelms me with the thought of giving up trying. You kindly never allow me by simply encouraging through your exemplary attitude Gurumaharaj. You lead us by example. I pray that someday I may please you through my services, that your chest swells up with pride for your disciples.
May all your dreams to dance and walk and perform Mangal Arati soon come true! My heart already dances in ecstasy to imagine how fast I will have to run to keep up with you Gurumaharaj! For the very first time ever!Then the whole world will sing "Nirananda dure gelo, anander sima nai!"
I beg you to please never abandon me. I pray that I may cling your lotus feet eternally. I seek your blessings to be able to resume book distribution in buses again,bring more people under the shelter of Srila Prabhupada,remain stuck to the initiation vows and that I never ever disappoint you. I seek your blessings for my father,my mother,my sister,my grandparents,my friends,youth girls and all the Vrinda Gardens children so that then can grow up to become responsible devotees in Lord Chaitanya's movement and please you Gurudev and the Guru parampara.
Thank you so much for everything!
Wishing to love you someday,
Your unworthy daughter,
Snigdhamayi Sudevi DD (Diksha)
Kolkata, India