My Dearest Guru Mahārāja!!!!
Please Accept My Humble Obeisances
All Glories to You,
All Glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda and to all our Paramparā ācāryas!!!!
nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale śrīmate jayapatākā-svāmin iti nāmine
namo ācāryapādāya nitāi-kṛpa-pradāyine gaura-kathā dhāma dāya nagara-grāma tāriṇe
nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale śrīmate bhaktivedānta-svāmin iti nāmine
namas te sārasvate deve gaura-vāṇī-pracāriṇe nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇe
First and foremost, Happy Vyasa Puja!!!! I can’t believe it’s Your 70th this year. I haven’t seen you in person for ages but like the saying goes “…absence makes the heart grow fonder…” and I miss you very much yet it feels like You have never left my side. Thank you for entering my life. I strongly believe in having "a person," and there is no better person to fit that description than You, Guru Mahārāja. I know that life is full of trials and that I cannot get what I want always, but I know that now that I have You, I can make it through any kind of situation that life might throw at me. Your love and mercy has filled me hope and has given me the strength to face my fears, which is something for which I shall be eternally grateful.
For the last two years of my life, I have been through so many different stages, like graduating, falling out with friends, a new job, and through all of the good and bad times, You have been with me. I couldn't thank you enough for that. You have not only been my Father, my Guru Mahārāja. And my anchor, but You have also happily been my best friend and lighthouse. You gave me wings to fly and have never failed to guide me through all my journeys. I know how insignificant I am yet You have always been so merciful towards me. Every time I catch You looking at me, my heart skips a beat, for You make me feel like there’s hope for me still. The truth of the matter is that You hold power over me, unlike anything that I have ever known or experienced.
Having to go through the amount of pain and suffering that You have endured for all of us makes made me wonder if Kṛṣṇa was testing all our faiths through the “agni-pariksha” He put You through. I can’t even begin to fathom how much You wanted to fulfil Śrīla Prabhupāda’s wishes and also guide us lost souls back to Kṛṣṇa. How can You be so merciful, Guru Mahārāja? Every time I am faced with difficulties, I look to You and all my problems just mysteriously disappear when I see Your smiling face. I think about how lucky we all are to have You in our lives and nothing else matters.
My heart broke and it really hurt so much when Shyama Anna told Chechi and I the story of what happened before and after Your surgery. I remember thinking about how much love You have for all of us and how everything You ever do, it's for Kṛṣṇa, Śrīla Prabhupāda and all of us (Your lost children who depend on You). I always think about what You told my friends and I as we were ranting (17 years ago) about hating being born as girls and how we aren’t allowed to serve You, play with You in the water like our extremely fortunate brothers or even touch Your lotus feet. I remember Your exact words of advice and follow it to a tee. Trust me when I say it isn’t easy Guru Mahārāja…yet as it was Your instructions and advise, I do it with utmost determination and bhakti.
Thank you Guru mahārāja, For sticking by me, getting to know my life, showing me the sincerest support and unconditional love. I know my Amma and Pema will still surely give me a long lengthy lecture about how I should be quieter around You but I am and will always be Your Malaysian chatter-box daughter and I will always buzz around You hoping to serve You in one way or another. I couldn't thank you enough for the countless amount of times that You have stuck by me when I needed You. I have no idea what I'd do without You sometimes... or all of the time. And I am so happy that I don't ever have to find out.
I wanted to thank you from the depths of my core for everything that You have done and continue to do for so many, but especially for those who come in touch with Śrīla Prabhupāda's house. Following the transcendental example of Śrīla Prabhupāda, Your compassion and sacrifice is beyond comprehension. Like Father, Like Son. Although I am far from deserving yet you continue to reciprocate with this tiny jiva. I am looking forward to hearing You say my full name and listening to more Caitanya Lilas that You always shower upon us whenever You see us!!! I love you very very much Guru Mahārāja!!! I honestly can’t wait to see you jumping and dancing in kirtans with that huge whompers that You always play!!!
May Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava always keep me as the speck close to dust at Your Lotus Feet…
Happy 70th Vyasa Puja!!!
Lots of love and constantly craving for Your mercy,
Your Insignificant Eternal Servant,
Gāndharvikā Rādhārāṇī devī dāsī,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
P.S. Just case I haven’t told You a million times before this, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE NAME YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!!!!