My dear Guru Mahārāja.Śrīla Prabhupāda,
Please accept my humble & respected obeisance unto your lotus feet.
All glories to you. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda. All glories all glories to all the Vaishnava acharyas.
It’s been a year now since I took Initiation from you during the Vyasa Puja last year in Chennai & you mercifully accept me as your son though you know that I am not at all qualified to be your disciple.
But, you went through so much in the past one year. You took so much pain & struggled a lot for the fallen conditioned souls like me. I know, you are living in this material world only to spread the love of Gaurasundara.
I was going through so many touch situations at my work at the time of initiation & at one stage, I wanted to quit my work in Dubai & go back to India. At the same time, I was getting ready & preparing for my initiation. My desire was to stay in Dubai & serve the Yatra here as I got the treasure of Kṛṣṇa consciousness from here. My biggest fear is that if I have to move to India, my sadhana will be hampered as my parents are not in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. I went to some senior yatra leaders & explained the situation & they told me to wait till initiation & thing will change. I had the faith & waited for the initiation. As soon as, I got initiated, within a week, things changed. I can’t explain how all the obstacles on the path removed & I became stable.
Guru Mahārāja, it’s your mercy that I got my rebirth. I have no words to explain my gratitude to you for your causeless mercy upon this conditioned soul. I am not qualified to be your disciple. I have greed, lust, anger in my heart. I want to do my sadhana seriously, but I get illusioned & think of matter of this material world. I have 2 beautiful children & my wife is training them in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But, I don’t show them the care. I am the most fallen as I am supposed to be more responsible in my grhastha life. I am lower than the worm in the stool. Whenever, I do Guru Arati, I feel ashamed of calling myself your disciple as I don’t have not even a single qualification to claim to be your disciple.
But, in your ocean of mercy, I was swept away by your unlimited mercy. You accepted me as your son knowing me to be unworthy. I have GauraNitāi deities at home. But, my thoughts are not centered around them. My mind is tricking me & makes me roam everywhere thinking of useless, rubbish products of this world.
Knowing me to be unworthy, every day, I pray to Gaura Nitāi & Narasiṁhadeva & Śrīla Prabhupāda that if my life can be reduced & shortened for you to live long then, I will be happy to accept it. I want you to live long to make the entire world to fall for the love of Gaurāṅga.
Gurudeva, on your auspicious appearance day, please bless me that I become a dust under your lotus feet life after life.
By the mercy of Gaura sundara, I am planning to attend the Vyasa puja this year in Māyāpur. I am coming to take your darśan & get your blessings to come out of illusion & become steady in my sadhanas & nurture the plant of bhakti.
I am also planning to move to Māyāpur & help my son to go to Gurukul. But, without your mercy & the permission Śrī Gaurāṅga, this will not happen. So, please bless my family to move to Māyāpur to dedicate our lives full time in service of Guru & Gaurāṅga.
On your auspicious appearance day, please bless me that I be a dust under your lotus feet.
His Holiness Jayapataka Swami Guru Mahārāja.ki Jai. 70th Auspicious appearance day Vyasa puja mahautsav ki Jai
Wishing to be the dust in your padukas,
Pāvana Gaura Prema Dāsa,
Uzbekistan