Dear Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my humble obeisances.
As guru astakam prayers state: "Yasya prasādad bhagavat prasāda, yasya prasādat na gatih kuto api.", one cannot directly obtain the mercy of the supreme Lord although the mercy is easily available but the mercy is obtainable through the via medium of the spiritual master by pleasing him. I know that I have not fully and satisfactorily pleased you in the last few years or decades by not properly focusing on preaching and not carefully following the rules and regulations that a disciple should follow. But I have great hope, although being unqualified, that by your mercy some day I will be able to please you and obtain the mercy of the supreme Lord. I am already being punished with financial issues for my offences to Guru, vaisanavas and the supreme Lord and I accept it for my purification and rectification. Yet this punishment is a small token that I am paying for my insincerity.
I pray to their Lordships Śrī Śrī Rādhā Mādhava, Pañca tattva and Lord narsimha dev to bring you back in great physical shape and action and smash all the anarthas in my heart holding me by my neck and not letting me go away deep into the illusion of maya. Please keep me in your list for prayers to their Lordships for my survival in Kṛṣṇa consciousness in this material world.
Wishing you a very happy vyasa puja festival and offerings by all the disciples and well wishers.
Your loving servant and son,
Aśoka Gaura Dāsa,
Śrī Jagannātha Mandir Kumaraswamy Layout,
Bangalore, India