Haribol Guru Maharaj,
Please accept my most humble obeisance’s at Your lotus feet.
All glorious to Srila Prabhupada.
Hi Guru Maharaj!!!! How are You? How’s Your health now? Before I get on with my homage, I would like to beg for Your forgiveness!!!! I’m sorry Guru Maharaj. I’m really truly sorry and I promise that I won't ever do it again. I know what I did was wrong and letting You down like this was unwarranted for but the ignorance in me just overtook my basic common sense and I made a grave mistake that I am working hard on rectifying. I promise You that I won’t ever let You down like that again!!!!
As I sit here in front of my computer, cracking my head on what I can write to You to wish You for Your Vyasa Puja, I start thinking about all the little fond and dear memories that I have shared with You. I have not met a person who has been so kind and who has cared for me as much as You. On this auspicious day of Your appearance, despite my frailties and limitations, I offer this meagre attempt to say something in order to glorify You. From a very young age, I have always watched You with awe and constantly looked for reasons to engage You in conversations. All our random talks have always brought me closer to Krsna as You always link my mundane problems to incredible solutions that involve serving Krsna. These days, I see You every night giving classes and narrating all these wonderful stories and I think to myself… Why can’t I be more like You and less like me??? Maybe Krsna knew that I needed massive help on planet Earth especially since I live smack in the middle of Kaliyuga so He kept testing me but also making sure that He always kept You right in front of me so that I don’t be a huge drama queen and complaint nonstop or give up when I am faced with obstacles and challenges.
Growing up in ISKCON, I always had a front-row seat to You and all the sacrifices that You singlehandedly do for all Your disciples and I can’t help but wonder how is it that You keep going on even when Krsna put all these obstacles in front of You. I always tell myself that the hardship I endure isn’t even a speck of dust compared to what You have bravely and successfully conquered. I look at You to see that steady pillar that I can lean on and follow in order to serve Krsna.
Oh, Lord!! What have You not taught me despite my limitations? Patience, Faith, Obedience, Courage, and most importantly, You taught me to LOVE KRSNA and always look for ways to SERVE! I’m aware that I am the most ignorant, sinful, corrupted, ill-affected and ill-feeling of souls that You so graciously saved. Yet, never once have You abandoned me. Instead, You always look for little tasks to engage me in. They say that the Guru knows the disciple well and I am a firm believer that in my case, despite me being the most ignorant and stubborn child You’ve encountered, You never gave up on me and always knew how to bring me back to Krsna. I do admit that I don’t know what is good or what is bad, what should be accepted and what should be rejected, neither do I have any fortune nor virtue. In spite of all that, You stood by me every step of the way. Eternally grateful isn’t even a valid option for me as it will take more than an eternity to even repay an aeon of Your mercy.
So, all I shall do is bow my head down at Your lotus feet and earnestly beg for Your mercy; Please Guru Maharaj, help me so that I can qualify to serve You with utmost bhakti and always be a devotee of Lord Krsna. Bless me so that I will always be able to keep my mind on Gauranga Mahaprabhu’s lotus feet. Please bless me so that I can always refill my Bhakti Quotient!!!!
I love you always!!!!
Forever dependant on Your mercy,
Your Insignificant Servant,
Gandharvika Radha Rani Devi Dasi JPS