Dear Guru Maharaj,
Please Accept My Humble Obeisances At Your Lotus Feet !
All Glories To You and Srila Prabhupada !
Dearest Guru Maharaj, My beloved spiritual father savior of the fallen souls and well-wisher of the entire universe. I am falling at Your lotus feet with great awe and reverence, begging You to kindly accept these most humbly offered obeisance.
I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to write to You on the auspicious day of Your appearance. On this very special and auspicious occasion when with Your appearance came a ray of hope for all the unfortunate jivas like myself, struggling hopelessly in the vicelike grip of Maya, of continuous pain and suffering and repeated birth and death. On this day of Your appearance I feel myself so fortunate to glorify You. I am immature to glorify You properly on Your appearance day. Kindly accept this attempt as I am trying to praise Your qualities and activities. I often think about where I would be without You and Your disciples.
Wish You a very Happy Vyasa-puja with sincere and intense prayer to Sri Sri Krishna for this auspicious day. Today is the most important day in my life; as this day You appeared amongst us at the behest of the Lord just to deliver fallen souls like me. But the time since then has been full of realizations and new spiritual experiences due to Your blessings. Keeping You at the centre of my life, each day I can feel how Your causeless mercy flows unconditionally in the upkeep of my devotional service. I am thankful to Lord Krishna, who has mercifully sent You as my master and savior.
Although You are far away, yet You have very mercifully provided us Your kind association through lectures and live internet broadcasts. In every activity of Yours, You set an example for us and help us strengthen our commitment and conviction to Srila Prabhupada and ISKCON. You teach us the mood of becoming an eternal servitor of one’s spiritual master by displaying Your desire to serve Srila Prabhupada’s mission in spite of all discomfort and inconvenience that may arise due to the body. Guru-Maharaj, please instill in my heart a drop of that mood of servitor ship for Your divine grace as You have for Srila Prabhupada.
Your life is an example for everyone. Your recent ill health situation which You are handling with strong will and determination teaches us a lesson and instructs us how to handle certain situations. It is amazing to know even during extreme difficult situations Your enthusiasm to preach and bringing conditioned souls near to Krishna was ever increasing. All Glories to Your preaching mission!!!
Your desire to spread Namahatta preaching all over the world inspires me immensely.
There is so much that I have to say. Yet out of foolishness I cannot find the appropriate words. I am incapable of expressing myself truly. This body and mind are full of contaminations and faults. I only pray that You are seeing the essence of this being.
Constantly I am struggling with where I am supposed to be, because my mind wants recognition and facility, but what I truly want is only emotional attachment to those who are my true well-wishers. Spiritual emotions, nothing fanatical, or like blind faith. But faith and emotion founded on realization. I do little sevas that are assigned to me by senior devotes and my siksa guru with all my heart. I put in all my effort to please You and Krishna by keeping in mind how it will affect You and how it will help in spreading the message of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
These past couple of years have been a struggle for me. I have been crossing hurdles every now and then. I have learned to accept that it is all Krishna’s arrangement. I am an 18-year-old who has realized that material education is going to take me no where and the people in this material world are not going to help me go back to Godhead. Only devotees and You my Dear Guru Maharaj are going to help me and guide me back home.
I am still so very selfish, and stubborn. These things I wish I would grow out of. Maybe greed for purification and stubborn to help others.
As said, when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear: You showed me the way, to serving at the lotus feet of The Lord, and for that I’m eternally grateful to You. I listen to Your lectures every day, which inspire me to do my seva and duties with more determination.
You are my spiritual master, and I am Your eternal servant. Sometimes I desire having a very friendly relationship with You, of which You accept me as a significant servant. But that is my false ego wanting to feel important. If I could ask any benediction from You, it would be simply to serve You always in all circumstances and to have genuine attachment and ability to always chant the sacred and divine names of the Lord, with all humility.
I, most fervently, pray to Lord Narsimha Dev that You quickly recover and start traveling to accomplish Your objective of ‘nagar gram tarine’. I also beg You today to please forgive me for the offences that I commit unknowingly while being engaged in my services, due to my incorrigible nature. I hope that, gradually, with Your mercy, I will be able to make myself a better devotee. This is possible only if I have Your mercy; else I am completely incapable of achieving anything.
Please, accept this humble request to allow me to always provide sincere service at Your lotus feet.
With love
Your aspiring servant
Karishma Joshi