Dearest Gurumaharaj,
Please accept my most respectful obeisances at the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! Happy Vyasa Puja dear Gurudev! All glories to your fifty years of sanyasa Gurumaharaj! Thank you so much for everything!
Since I am writing this offering only a couple of days before Gaura Purnima, I am reminded of the words of HG Ramya Vrindavan Mataji, “you cannot think of Lord Gauranga without thinking of Gurumaharaj.” I can relate to this sentence so much while trying to think of Lord Gauranga. May I develop taste to hear from you the unlimited glories of the Lord and His devotees and also the taste for hearing about your glories.
Although I have been thinking how amazing you are to your disciples that you chose to stay back here for us than to go back to Godhead. I have been able to realize a bit of your unfathomable kindness and unimaginable tolerance and undeterred determination to serve your spiritual master in these few days. I have never suffered so much ever in my life like I did ,although for a few days but I only could think how miserable this material world is and wondering how you chose to stay back here enduring all the pain and difficulties just to please Srila Prabhupada and take us back home. No matter how difficult the situations were and still are that me and my family are going through, I have realized your mercy coming to me every moment through your instructions and the association of the devotees. Somehow, I have been able to realize that I am made up of your mercy dear Gurudev. Thank you for all your love and care Gurudev.
I have often heard HG Maha Varaha Prabhu saying that a person with physical challenges always demands attention and you are always giving attention to people around. It has always amazed me Gurumaharaj. Very recently in a class when someone said that during the festivals it is difficult to communicate with the devotees and you told the devotee to come to your classes and ask you questions and you would speak to the devotee in that way. How amazing! Inconceivable!
I seek your blessings so that I can fulfil the preaching targets that I have set for the year 2020 for the pleasure of you Gurumaharaj and Srila Prabhupada and the previous acaryas. May book distribution become closer to my heart and I give out Srila Prabhupada’s books to everyone I know and meet. I don’t have the courage to do it and anything, I am completely dependent on your mercy Gurumaharaj to be able to do it and everything else for the pleasure of Lord Gauranga. In almost all the Vyasa puja offerings so far, I have been writing that I only wish to serve you and nothing else, but for the recent incidences in my life by Krishna and your mercy Gurumaharaj ,I have realized that I have unlimited selfish material desires and not just the desire to please you. May someday my desire to please you surpass all other selfish desires of mine Gurumaharaj.
I have never done anything good in my life to have received such a benediction to receive shelter at the dust of your lotus feet. But for your mercy, I have been given opportunities to serve and associate with such exalted devotees. I am very weak spiritually Gurudev, I seek your blessings and thank you for your blessings. I wish someday I can experience anander sima nai by serving your dear Lord. May in every moment of my life, I experience the heart to heart connection with you Gurumaharaj. I don’t know if ever I will be able to make you feel happy with my services, however, I wish I can someday. I seek your blessings for the spiritual progress of all our vrinda gardens kids and for me and my family.
Wishing to love you someday,
Your fallen servant,
Snigdhamayi Sudevi Devi Dasi
Kolkata
India