nama om vishnu-padaya krishna preshtaya bhu-tale
srimate jayapataka swamin iti namine
nama acaryapadaya nitai-kripa pradayine
gaura-katha dhama-daya nagara-grama tarine
nama om vishnu-padaya krishna-preshthaya bhu-tale
srimate bhaktivedanta-svamin iti namine
namas te saraswate deve gaura-vani-pracarine
nirvishesha-shunyavadi-pashchatya-desha-tarine
My dear Guru Maharaj,
Hare Krsna. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to you and your service.
Please let me start by saying how wonderful it was to see you in Atlanta this past winter. I didn’t get to speak with you, but that’s ok. The private conversation we had a few years ago (with Kamalaksi Radhika devi dasi by my side) will last me the rest of this lifetime. Of course, I’d love to speak with you should the opportunity arise, but I’m very content with my spiritual life.
I can honestly say that without that conversation, I would not still be a devotee. I have lost faith in ISKCON as an institution, the GBC as a governing body, the, in particular, the temple management at New Panihati Dham. The three things that I have NOT lost faith in are the Vedic philosophy, my fellow devotees in the Atlanta area, and most importantly, YOU!!
I have come to peace with fact that ISKCON and the majority of the GBC will never be supportive of someone like me (an old rock and roll chick with pink hair, a ton of tattoos, who happens to be a male to female post-operative transgender woman who, if she were to be in a relationship it would be with another woman), but that’s ok. I am doing what you directly told me to do...the best that I can. I serve my Jagannath, Baladeva, and Subhadra deities, chant at least 17 rounds per day (one for your continued health), and do my best with the regulative principles. Could I be a better disciple and devotee? Of course I could, but I’m really happy with things as they are. I can honestly say that I’m happier than I’ve been in this life!
I still play with Balabhadra prabhu in Murari Band. We just started recording a new album when the Coronavirus started getting bad, but we’ll get back at it ASAP and we’ll be sure to get you a copy. Normally, we have regular home programs, so I am able to get wonderful devotee association, and, of course. I have my beautiful deity room in my home in Cleveland, Georgia.
I’m doing fine, Guru Maharaj, and that’s all because of your mercy on that Monday evening in front of the Atlanta temple, when you took the time to listen to me and talk to me. I know that I wasn’t worthy of that mercy then or now, but I am forever grateful for it.
I pray daily for your health and your ability to continue spreading Lord Caitanya’s sankirtan movement.
Happy Vyasa Puja!!!
I remain your most grateful, loving spiritual daughter,
Shanti Keshavi devi dasi
Stefanie Schumacher
133 Mossy Trail
Cleveland, GA, USA 30528
shanti.keshavi@gmail.com
706-809-9051
