Hare Krishna, dear Guru Maharaj.
Please accept my respectful obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories to your unbreakable determination to serve Srila Prabhupada. All glories to Srila Prabhupada and his sincere followers.
I always used to wonder how is it possible for a spiritual master to interact and care for around 50K disciples and many more aspirants and well-wishers. It never used to fit in my logic. But, in the few interactions, I had with you, and pastimes I heard from your personal servants, I am fully convinced that you are indeed connected to each and every disciple personally and you are taking care of all of them. How is it possible? My puny brain does not know... it defies all mundane logic.
I heard that a disciple should go to the spiritual master and surrender and serve him. I don't have the least amount of surrender and I was always skeptical about what services will I get if I ever asked you. Will it be something that will use my skillset? After moving to Mayapur in November 2018, I had the privilege of interacting with you on a number of occasions where you kindly tasked me with a few projects, which uses my IT skillset, and I have fun doing these projects.
However, due to work and family responsibilities, sadhana, etc. sometimes things get out of control. A few of your projects are in progress, some are still in the backlog, and it frustrates me at times, that I have not been able to deliver the projects yet. There are times, I am afraid to go in front of you thinking what will I say if you ask a report on the projects. I think that I am good as an individual contributor, but there are so many things to do and me single-handedly having limited free time is not good enough. I am really terrible at delegating and managing people and contributors. So, I request you to please empower me so that I can become better at training people, delegating work and managing these projects so that I can get them to deliver at the earliest. I also pray to you to help me find sincere devotees having the necessary IT skills who can contribute to these projects.
Many times, knowingly or unknowingly, I commit a number of offenses at your lotus feet. Please forgive me for my offenses and please bless me so that I can follow Srila Prabhupada's and your instructions as it is and make progress in my spiritual life so that I can guide my family in loving devotional service to you, Srila Prabhupada, Guru parampara, Panch Tattva, and finally Radha Madhava.
Trying to be your servant,
Ratnabahu Nityananda Das
rtnpro AT gmail DOT com