My beloved Gurudeva
Please accept my respectful obeisances at Your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupad. All glories to Your Holiness Gurudeva.
Yesterday one of my God-sisters Paridhi Rathi who always shares treasures about You, shared a video clip of 1993 Vyas puja where Your dear God-brother (spiritual uncle to me) HH Tamal Krishna Goswami read His offering to You. Throughout the day Maharaj’s words about You rang in my ears by Your, His and Krishna’s mercy, that even my sinful heart felt ecstatic, eyes shed tears and mind kept meditating on Your divine qualities of pure devotion to Srila Prabhupad and previous Acharyas.
My spiritual uncle and Your mercy kindly gave me the realization of how unfortunate I have been that although a great personality has accepted me out of causeless mercy as His disciple, I keep forgetting this greatest gem of fortunes in the 3 worlds and not taking complete advantage, but keep getting carried away by glitter of material nature and enthusiasm going up and down in Krishna consciousness.
Maharaj said how first day itself You took the strong decision and shaved up. Gurudev at first day You became a “Gurudev” by Your personal example of firm determination in every aspect of Krishna consciousness. But only a great personality can be so, this quick. This servant’s determination is always up and down. Without constant shelter under shade of Your lotus feet, this hopeless soul has no hope.
You helped pull Lord Jagannath’s chariot for Rath Yatra. You and HH Jayananda Thakur pulled throughout in front aligning the wheels of chariot for hours miles together from start to end without a break. Gurudeva you again teach us to keep taking up service much above our comfort zone and be consistent with it and not based on our mind’s comfort. But only a great personality can be so, this quick from the beginning till now. With my little services hear at LA temple I get so exhausted physically and mentally that my service is up and down. Without constant shelter under shade of Your lotus feet, this hopeless soul has no hope.
The very next day You were missing. You flew immediately to Montreal on getting the information of Srila Prabhupad being there. You again taught us what kind of devotion one should have towards spiritual master. HH Tamal Krishna Goswami concluded- all this simply indicates how great personality you already are. This ignorant soul is just slowly surrendering to Your all cooling lotus feet in 20+ years coming to ISKCON. Without constant shelter under shade of Your lotus feet, this hopeless soul has no hope.
Maharaj said how You always put Yourself to fulfilling the orders of previous Acharyas by developing Mayapur, Gaur mandala Bhumi, tribal preaching, rural preaching, Food for Life, Navadwip Mandal Parikram, Namahattta preaching etc etc. Gurudeva You kept teaching by Your example. This fallen soul hasn’t even completely carried out simple and single few instructions as continuing preaching in my college. Without constant shelter under shade of Your lotus feet, this hopeless soul has no hope.
Maharaj said how one Janmashtami you first did a huge preaching program in Kolkata, travelled all the way to Mayapur, gave a lecture and a beautiful initiation ceremony and then went back to Kolkata to catch a flight to Chennai. On reaching Chennai you did a huge preaching program there that night. Gurudeva you keep teaching us by Your example at what level we should be absorbed in Krishna consciousness. Here is a hopeless soul, looking for just comfortable services, just comfortable for own body and lethargic mind. Without constant shelter under shade of Your lotus feet, this hopeless soul has no hope.
Maharaj said how after You got injured on your neck, when Maharaj came to visit You,You made a request for brahman thread from Him as You have been waiting all these days from someone who was brahminically directly in touch with Srila Prabhupad after the doctors cut the thread. You teach by example how we should give high importance to finer aspects of Krishna consciousness as well which generally anybody would have neglected. Here is a fallen soul who is careless in execution of Krishna consciousness, taking it for granted. Without constant shelter under shade of Your lotus feet, this hopeless soul has no hope.
Maharaj concluded he has never seen anybody as much taking painstaking efforts for Krishna consciousness always and how you have been a great pillar to support Srila Prabhupad’s mission. And Your wonderful dear God brother says He feels so sheltered to be under You and to please continue keeping under Your shelter. My Gurudeva, following in my spiritual uncle and shiksha guru HH Tamal Krishna Maharaj’s Lotus footsteps I pray to always be under the constant shade of Your Lotus feet, the greatest and only hope for this hopeless soul.
As Maharaj described how exalted personality You are, I shed tears of regret that I didn’t as much take full shelter of the golden opportunity of Your association in different ways. Nor have I been consistently able to please You. My husband yesterday just discussed with me a part of Nectar of Devotion saying perfection of devotional service is understood when one finds his spiritual master is pleased with Him. On hearing those words, I shed tears as I am not successful. I pray to be able to do so in a little way at least.
Gurudeva, at one point by Your mercy through HG Shiromani mataji, HG Achintya Caitanya Prabhu and devotees of Manipal, I pleased You by being instrument of Your preaching at NIT Calicut. But the graph is down from long because of marriage, being away and other so-called excuses.
By Your mercy I finally got married to a devotee boy from Telangana, now disciple of HH Radhanath Swami. By your mercy, he supports and guides me in Krishna consciousness. Now we are here at LA. Prabhu works outside and I am trying to serve in temple. By Your mercy, Srila Prabhupad’s mercy and Shiromani mataji’s mercy in the form of instructions for married women, I have been trying deal with the mind based on the golden instructions and executing duties as a wife following Krishna consciousness. I cannot imagine what kind of woman or wife I would have been without the shelter of guidance from these golden instructions.
Now by Your mercy, we have entered the next phase of Grihastha ashrama. After following important aspects of Garbhadhana Samskara we finally conceived and expecting child’s arrival this September end or October beginning. We pray that this child may be a flower of love, honor and gratitude offered at Your lotus feet eternally.
Father, HG Udarakirti Caitanya Das has settled in South Vrindavan by Your kind mercy to devote to serve You through the same. He and mother are breathlessly serving there by Your causeless mercy upon them. Praying to keep them under the shade of Your lotus feet. By Your mercy alone, this project moves forward.
Gurudeva I pray to Sri Sri Radha Madhava, Sri Pancha-Tattva, Sri Sri Prahlad Nrsimhadev, Srila Prabhupad, the Guru Parampara and Your Holiness to kindly keep giving us Your and many more generations to come Your physical association. I pray to Lord that my Gurudev’s health remains perfect and devoid of any pain.
Trying to cross this material ocean by remembering my great fortune of being sheltered under Your lotus feet
Your grateful aspiring servant
Srimati Lalita Devi Dasi
