All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
All glories to your divine grace!
Hare Krishna Dearest Gurumaharaj. Please accept my most respectful obeisances at the dust of your divine lotus feet. Every year, whenever I seat to write your Vyasa puja homage, I keep pondering on the content of my offering. This year, the thing is somehow same, but this year I hope to write of you, not about myself. I hope not to offend you through this small offering. If you so desire then please forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you so much Gurumaharaj, for teaching me to be more and more grateful to their Lordships and towards the spiritual master and previous acharyas for whatever one had, has and will have in the future.
Though the last year has not been a pleasant year for many people in this world. But you with your divine presence and unlimited mercy have made the year somewhat more memorable than other years. Although, it is not a year to forget ever in the pages of my life. The year did not begin with an auspicious note for us, we had to go through different hurdles and difficulties from the beginning of the year, even before the pandemic could grab and devour us of. But your unlimited and causeless mercy have made me feel how important Krishna consciousness is. How I should not take it as a joke, or a game to play on. At every moment it unveiled the real nature of the material world to me. The actual identity of the people around me, how there can be no one closer than Krishna to one. The importance and significance of every moment of my life. That devotees are the best, there can be no one in comparison to the devotees in this world. The world is full of bad, malicious, selfish people, how they try to hurt devotees at every moment, sometimes physically, sometimes verbally. You taught me by your talks how much the society is in need of Krishna consciousness, Srila Prabhupada’s books, your divine presence. I really lack words to glorify you, the word to describe your exemplary activities has not yet been found in the world’s dictionary. During the pandemic when people were going mad just by thinking what will happen to them if they get infected by COVID-19, when everyone was in depression, frustrated on being isolated from the association of the devotees, temple services, you with your mere presence virtually made everyone happy. You gave me the hope to live, though I being an insectivorous plant always is in the mode of hurting you with my miscreant, malicious nature. Even when you were affected by that demoniac disease, you never complaint of getting affected by that, you had to go through so many difficulties and hurdles during then, but never did you feel upset and depressed by that. When your health went against your desire, you fought the battle like a chivalrous soldier and kept continuing with the Chaitanya Lila classes. No one in the history of patients infected by COVID-19, has done what you did. You gave classes, gallery darshan, blessings to birthday devotees. You never made us feel lonely, unfortunate, different from others. Your mercy was equal for all. I remember the day you got COVID-19, it was my birthday, I kept thinking maybe you won’t give your daily Chaitanya Lila class, at least on that day, but as usual you went beyond everyone’s imagination and gave class on that. Even when the day was so hectic for you. You always put others into the ocean of eternal happiness from the ocean of misery. There is no one like you in these three worlds. Even after getting typhoid you did not stop giving your Chaitanya Lila classes, as you say, you are addicted to it. There is no one like you. In the morning you undergo operation and in the evening with the intravenous channel on your hand you say to give the most nectarine Chaitanya Lila classes. You think about everyone’s betterment, but never do we hear you speaking about your problems and difficulties. Your life has undergone more topsy-turvy nature than mine, but I complain and blame others for that more than mine faulty activities. Neither do you complain, nor do you blame others for anything happening in your life. There is so much to learn from you, dear Gurumaharaj. Even when you are not at fault, you accept that to be your mistake. No one can match up to your care, love and concern for the devotees and non- devotee souls. You never differentiated one person from the other. You taught us by your example how Krishna consciousness should never be compromised under any situation. How much important it is to not commit Vaishnava aparadh and to treat every devotee with utmost reverence and humility. Never to consider one’s own self to be better than others in any respect. To just respect others and never to expect respect for one’s own self. You kept emphasizing on the fact that lord’s holy name can cure one from all kinds of diseases even from this deadly virus, corona. You encouraged everyone to preach more and more and everyone to develop ultimate unflinching faith in lord’s holy name. Through your classes you made me feel how important it is to read Srila Prabhupada’s books daily through the eyes of Srila Prabhupada and previous acharyas, not through my mundane blurred bleak eyes. The fact that Srila Prabhupada’s books can change everything, one’s life, fortune, destiny everything. One just needs to have that faith and be grateful towards Lord Chaitanya and Srila Prabhupada for accepting a fallen soul like me.
Your sudden presence in our house everyday through zoom have changed the meaning of our lives completely by bringing twist to it at every moment. When you first started visiting different zones through zoom, we just kept waiting for our turn to come. Every day, after the Chaitanya Lila classes, we would see on you tube your visit to the houses of different devotees and making them more fortunate enough to live a life. When after Janmashtami you started visiting more than 200-300 houses every day, including us, then we could not find any limit to our happiness and good fortune. I always consider myself to be unqualified, hapless, helpless soul, but your virtual visit gave us a hope to live in an optimistic way. Cooking has been a new job for us during this pandemic, where we could explore ourselves and learnt a lot about it, just by your mercy. I could see you only for a moment on the laptop screen when we were being spot lighted, but the preparations to see you used to start from the very moment when the spot lighted person from the screen used to change. You are amazing, your activities are inconceivable, utterly metaphysical. Every night we used to plan for next day’s offering, I always wanted to give you the extraordinary dish among all other offerings of that day. Something new that no one has ever given you on the virtual home visit. In the long run, I found it to be my duty to offer you something amazing every single day. Whenever a new recipe would popup on the YouTube food bloggers channels, then that would become the next day’s offering for you. Thank you so much for making me feel qualified enough to cook for you even though virtually. As during this pandemic, I had the desire to cook for you every day. Though the desire got fulfilled in a different way, according to Krishna’s plan not mine, to cook for you every day virtually. There was nothing more awaiting throughout the day, every day, other than your virtual home visits. We kept waiting for that at every moment, when would the moment come, when we would be able to see you and offer you the prasadam and you would give your most valuable comment. Hope to continue to do the same every day.
I know I am nothing but a rascal, but thank you so much Gurumaharaj, for accepting me as one of the participants in your daily Chaitanya Lila live classes. I can never stop thanking you enough for what you have and have been giving me. I know the nonsense activities I did throughout the year, I must something which I can never tell anyone in my life may be. But you as my spiritual master know everything, in spite of knowing who and what I am, you have accepted me and are still allowing me to be a part of your life and mission. I know how my every activity, step in this world is connected to you and your life. But as the most selfish being of this world, I always choose my sense gratification to be upon your selfless love and care for me. Never do I know, when will the day come, when I will just think about you, and will lead a life to just please and satisfy you. Every time I beg forgiveness and mercy from you to never commit the same mistake that I do daily, I do it daily even after being pardoned by you and after receiving your mercy. I wish I could stop myself from doing what I do, as it makes me feel at every moment to commit suicide, but I don’t even have the gut to stop my senses from fulfilling its needs and objectives. You have thousands of disciples, whenever I hear them glorifying you and their relationships with you, I feel I have nothing to relish nor do I have anything to present you. It shows me my real position in this world, my real identity, that how low I am and how exalted they are. I thank you and their lordships for always making this proud soul feel how unworthy I am in comparison to your other disciples. I always feel that I am not connected to you, as hardly do I perform any service for your pleasure. But you never make me feel like that in front of the society. You never neglect and alienate one from your merciful glance. Its your mercy and love that have kept me alive, its your mercy that allow me to breath. Thank you for giving me the chance to live in this world under your guidance and shelter. Never should I stop showing my gratitude to you, dearest Gurumaharaj.
I beg at your divine lotus feet to please give me your mercy and blessings so that one day I can preach lord Chaitanya’s glories along with your glories to the present society. So that I can be of some service to you, the present society is in great need of your mercy. please bless me so that I can raise my voice at least once in this lifetime against those who are constantly cheating the innocent people. I wish to be of some service to you, Gurumaharaj. I wish to not affect you anymore with my torturous nature. If you so desire then please make me the instrument of your choice to serve you unconditionally, without any inner motive, selflessly to live only for your pleasure. I hope to never cause any damage to your body by my selfish activities. I beg for your mercy and blessings, to keep you in the center and live a life only for you. I beg to develop more taste for hearing and chanting the glories of lord’s holy name. I beg your mercy for becoming more sincere in your service and to hear your classes with rapt attention, without any deviation. I beg at your lotus feet to serve you for your pleasure. I beg you to shower your mercy on me if you so desire, so that I can never forget you and your selfless love and care for me. I wish to never leave your lotus feet and divine shelter. Please allow this insignificant soul to serve you, Gurumaharaj. Thank you for showering your unlimited causeless mercy upon this fallen soul. Thank you for everything Gurumaharaj, you are the Best!
Thank you.
Your unqualified servant,
Sakhi Rangadevi Devi Dasi ( Diksha disciple)
Kolkata
India