nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate jayapatākā-svāmin iti nāmine
namo ācāryapādāya nitāi-kṛpa-pradāyine
gaura-kathā dhāmadhāya nagara-grāma tāriṇe
Dear Guru Maharaja,
Please Accept My Humble Obeisances,
All glories to You,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada,
All glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga
Few months back, by the sweet will of the Lord, I happened to come across a verse from Srimad Bhagavatam (8.7.44):
tapyante loka-täpena sädhavaù präyaço janäù
paramärädhanaà tad dhi puruñasyäkhilätmanaù
“It is said that great personalities almost always accept voluntary suffering because of the suffering of people in general. This is considered the highest method of worshiping the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is present in everyone's heart.”
It gives me both pleasure and pain simultaneously. Pleasure because this verse reminds me of You, the great personality who has voluntarily accepted such extreme physical suffering for the sake of delivering the fallen souls of this world, for the sake of extending the compassion of Srila Prabhupada and previous acharyas. And pain because such extreme physical suffering is intolerable to my eyes and I’m unable to help you in anyway.
Your desire to shower mercy upon the people of this kali yuga has bypassed all the considerations of your physical health. A normal person undergoing such difficulties would get tormented by his mind and continuously think of leaving his body and would certainly pass away soon. A devotee undergoing such difficulty would think of Krishna, of returning back to Him and entering into the His nitya lila. You are an associate of Lord Chaitanya as Srila Prabhupada said. You could have just desired to return back to the nitya lila of the Lord and the Lord would have called You immediately. But, your strong desire to preach His message didn’t allow the Lord to do so. It’s no surprise to me. The Chaitanya Charitamrita tells us of this. Haridas Thakur, because of his deep prayerful mood and intense desire to forgive the people who had been beating him through the marketplaces, saved them from the wrath of the Chakra of the Lord. The Chakra couldn’t do anything. Finally, Lord Himself had to take the beatings upon. Vasudeva Dutt, because of his strong desire to deliver the fallen soul of the universe by taking all their sufferings upon himself, made the Lord cry tears and the Lord had to deliver the whole universe.
You are very dear disciple of Srila Prabhupada. Service to Srila Prabhupada and fulfilling all His instructions is of supreme concern to you. Therefore, even after so many years you remember all the instructions that Srila Prabhupada gave you. Yours supremely strong desire to fulfill all the instructions of Srila Prabhupada has conquered over all considerations and has kept you in this world.
I have heard from many devotees that the Supreme Lord makes the words of a pure devotee come true. Krishna Himself tells to Arjuna to make the promise that His devotee never perishes. This way He would be bound to fulfill the promise. I saw this happening in front of my gross eyes. I would like to describe this incident.
During the occasion of the Ratha yatra celebration this year on Jan 12, 2018 in Chennai, you were delivering a lecture in Kuchalambal Hall. I, fortunately, was present there, trying to drink every word you were speaking. You were speaking about significance of Ratha Yatra in the beginning of the lecture. I heard you mentioning that people, usually, go to temple to see the Lord but on the day of Ratha Yatra, the Lord comes out to see His devotees. This was very surprising to me. I had heard about the significance of Ratha Yatra as Lord coming out in the streets to give His darshan to those fallen souls who don’t come to temple to take His darshan. I had heard this from not one but many devotees. So, I was thinking how this can be true, may be Guru Maharaja said it just like that. I ignored your statement.
However, little later in the course of your lecture what was revealed to me made me cry tears at my heart. Something happened which I had never seen before. Just when kirtan was going on in the mid of your lecture, Lord Jagannath was brought by some devotees in front of you. He was moving up and down, back and forth. And, after a while He was taken back to the altar. I was puzzled. I was thinking these devotees are behaving like neophytes, doing whatever they want with the Lord. After all, we can’t treat the Lord like a toy, taking Him here and there as per our wish. I was thinking it’s an offence to do that. I couldn’t see the sweet will of the Lord. My foolish mind didn’t allow me to understand what was going on. But I didn’t want to find faults with those devotees either. So, I suppressed my thoughts and prayed to the Lord that please reveal if I need to learn something from this. And, I continued hearing your lecture.
This incident was clinging to my mind even after the lecture got over. After about an hour when I was revising what you spoke in the lecture from my notes. I saw that the Lord comes out to see His devotees….. That’s it. The Lord had fulfilled my prayers by revealing why that whole incident had happened. The Lord in order to fulfill the words that you spoke came to see one of His beloved devotees, Srila Jayapataka Swami. He was dancing in ecstasy out of His sweet will. It was certainly difficult for you to move on your wheelchair among hundreds of people who simply want to touch your feet to get mercy. So, the Lord Himself came to see you. He fulfilled the words that you spoke, and you took His darshan too. It wasn’t that some devotees treated Him like a toy and brought Him in front of you. The Lord came by His own sweet will. I recollected how the same Lord in Puri doesn’t let the Ratha move an inch if He doesn’t desire to move. Sometimes He doesn’t allow others to take Him out of His altar. This is all by His sweet will. If He does it there in Puri, the same Lord is in Chennai. No one can move Him if it is not as per His will. If it is His will, He will inspire someone to carry out that order even if there are 100s who wouldn’t want to treat the Lord that way.
My foolish mind didn’t allow me to conceive all these at that instant. It was quite later that the Lord revealed all these to me. This pastime made me realize how every word of the spiritual master is of supreme value for the disciple. I seek your blessings that may I be able to understand and apply what you speak in your lectures. It taught me also to not judge others by externals. I saw the loving reciprocations of the Lord with His devotee. I saw how much the Lord loves you.
I’m eternally indebted to you Guru Maharaj for giving me the shelter of your lotus feet, for accepting me as one of your disciple. I had no qualification. I’m not advanced either. I’m just a beginner in Krishna Consciousness. Now that you have accepted me, please give me a little of your mercy and please empower me that I can utilize your mercy cent percent. I’m struggling with so many anarthas. I don’t have real taste for Bhakti. What I do is only a show-off and my heart is filled with hypocrisy and duplicity. There is no hankering in the heart for devotional service. So, naturally when there is free time, I waste them in sense gratification not thinking of the value of time and rarity of human form of life. I doze off many times while doing Japa and reading Srila Prabhupada books. On the other hand, my mind becomes fully awake with full attention to any mundane subject matters. When will I develop a little taste for performing devotional limbs? Please reveal my wrong-doings and give me strength and wisdom to overcome them so that I be able to perform devotional service with heart.
I’m eagerly waiting for your compilation of the new book on Lord Caitanya. The world needs it very much. I need it the most. I’m waiting for the book on your biography to get released too.
I’ve tried to hear some of the lectures that you delivered in 90’s and later. I wish to hear all the recorded lectures you’ve delivered, understand and apply them. I seek your blessings to be able to do that.
Please bless me to develop a little of the affection that you carry for Lord Gauranga and Sridham Mayapur. Please reveal to me how I can serve you best.
Your Unworthy Disciple,
Sucaru Murari Dasa
