Beloved Gurudeva,
Please accept my most respectful obeisances at your divine lotus feet. All glories to Your Holiness! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
On this most auspicious day of Your Divine appearance, I want to rededicate my life at the lotus feet of such a great and magnanimous personality as yourself, Gurudeva!
Krishna has become a reality for me only because of you Gurudeva! Being the Sakshad dharitvena , transparent medium to Krishna. Your deep gaze into my soul on the very first meeting made me sure that the spiritual world actually exists!
You have cut many illusions of my mind starting from day 1! Of course there are so many more that are still lurking and conditioning me. But one thing I have realized for sure is that one must never have any material expectations from the spiritual master based on our mental concoctions.
I realize more and more how much of a well-wisher you are of me- always acting on your pure platform- never indulging my mental whims and desires.
It was very difficult to understand this fact in the beginning. I was always eager for your visits to Mathuradesh to be blessed with your divine association, , but many times demanding this at the cost of your visit to other places which were important for your preaching. You got angry with me once and said very sternly that you were not going to come there any more and even if you did you will stay not in our house, but in another devotee’s home!
The world came tumbling down for me and I could not understand my mistake. Later that day, you mercifully put your Danda on my dunderhead and said that it was your special mercy you had given me!
Like an expert doctor who manages even serious surgeries not letting the patient know how serious it is, by his charming demeanour, you are doing surgeries on our contaminated consciousness and rectifying us, all unknown to us! We only see your compassion and love. We do not realize how serious you are about our spiritual advancement! Just like Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu!
You have been increasing my benchmarks constantly. Starting with your very first one-
“You must serve your husband as the representive of Krishna”; “You must be like Draupadi who satisfied all her 5 husbands expertly.So in this way you should manage both your material and spiritual duties properly”; during my 2nd Initiation interview, when I was explaining to you my services, you said, “What about your mind?” Whether it was also involved while doing the services. You also said that I should do all my preaching services for Krishna’s pleasure and not my own.
Your approval and pleasure is the only way we can make all spiritual progress. Right from getting up daily for Mangala Arathi, it was by praying to you, and for pleasing you that I could do it.
And now in a little deeper way, I am realizing that how perfect and pure you are. How it is absurd spiritually to think that your spiritual master does not know you! All the tests and obstacles that I have faced were just to get me to the understanding that I have to give up all attachment to my mind and surrender completely to you.
On this most glorious day, I thank Krishna for giving me such a great Guru. Please forgive me for all the offenses I have committed to you due to my ignorance, Gurudeva.
I am so happy that I have such a well- wishing friend in you. You are such an exemplary devotee, such a perfect disciple, such a selfless Guru- I really do not deserve you as my Guru.
Please let me render pure devotional service unto your lotus feet. Please always keep me at the shade of your lotus feet. I only want Krishna prema and unlimited services to you.
Please make me an instrument to distribute your mercy to whomever you want me to.
I pray to Lord Narasimhadeva to give you excellent health, long life so that you can deliver unlimited souls in this wretched Kali Yuga.
Your spiritual daughter,
Prema Padmini dd