My Dear Guru Maharaj, please accept my respectful obesiance onto ur lotus feet. This is my first letter, which I am sending It. Thank you soo soo much to accept me as ur daughter and for giving Guru Ashraya. After taking GA my commitment has reduced drastically. I am feeling so lost but I know the only way out of all these is chanting. I am such a fool, not able to chant my 16 rounds daily correctly, and I am trying to preach to my husband to chant without me chanting. Neither of us are moving forward in life because of this.
I feel so blessed when I see the reciprocation to my thoughts and question being answered by You and Krishna. But this mind is such a bad friend that it never makes up to get up early and finish rounds in the morning itself. When I feel either exitied or thrown away, I chant committedly, if not I need to struggle to finish the rounds on the following days.
Nowaday I am not able to take part in the online programs so feeling discarded from association too.
Guru Maharaj neither any Prabhupada's or your lecture goes into my dumb head
I have always felt unworthy of writing to you, not even a homage to you or Srila Prabhupada.
The only reason I am writing is I don't find any hope with myself. I can only turn to my spiritual father for help. Due to other personal reasons (financial commitment of my father) I am not even able to talk to my guide Poornanandini mata and Prasannathma pr who are very patiently handling the situation.
Feeling very lost with improper Chanting, No prasadam, No association, No reading and nothing else.
This has become my frequent cycle of not doing any of the above and feeling dejected, I will underastand the importance of hari nam and the only way to survive in this Kaliyuga, but again back to square one.
Please guide this daughter and bless so that I can blossom to be good preacher.
One last thing Guru Maharaj, everyday I chant one round on Harinam for ur well-being and good health.
Trying to be ur servant
Vaibhava Vindhana GR
Koramangala ISKCON
Bangalore