nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate jayapatākā-svāmin iti nāmine
namo ācāryapādāya nitāi-kṛpa-pradāyine
gaura-kathā dhāmadhāya nagara-grāma tāriṇe
My dear spiritual father,
Please accept my respectful obeisances unto Your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to Your Divine Grace whose example of full surrender to and total absorption in the pastimes and instructions of Lord Chaitanya and Srila Prabhupada - even in this very difficult and demanding external health condition - is giving Your followers an inexhaustible supply of spiritual inspiration and reason enough to serve ISKCON with all our energy.
Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 1.5.24 contains this heavy statement: "Without being self-controlled, without being disciplined and without being fully obedient, no one can become successful in following the instructions of the spiritual master, and without doing so, no one is able to go back to Godhead." There was also the Vyasa Puja glorification by HH Bhakti Madhurya Goswami Maharaj where Maharaj clearly distinguished who is a real disciple from who is an "initiate".
Guru Maharaj, You are most merciful and tolerant of your children's faults, but 13 years since first initiation, I am still a poor shadow of an initiate. I perform my so-called service mindlessly, chant inattentively and sometimes fail to complete 16 rounds, do not read Srila Prabhupada's books regularly, struggle to control my sinful thoughts, harbor lust, anger, pride and ego in my heart, and still have the attitude that I am the enjoyer. With all this, I dare to call myself your disciple and think of myself as an "all-right" devotee. How long shall I cheat myself and others like this? Time is running out. And yet, the desire to never give up come what may, the desire to drag my consciousness uphill towards Krishna Consciousness, the desire to one day consciously, mindfully live every moment thinking, feeling and acting as a happy instrument in Your service to Srila Prabhupada and Nitai-Gauranga - this desire is somehow still alive. And every year or two, somehow Lord Chaitanya is allowing me entrance into Your beloved home, Sri Mayapur Dham. Why all this continued blessings? Guru Maharaj, all this is due only to Your unconditional love and kindness upon all of your children, and among them me too. There is no other logical explanation possible.
Sometimes, the problem with receiving unconditional mercy is that thankless people take it for granted. But to be a gentleman, the receiver should at least try his best to reciprocate. Guru Maharaj, on this occasion of Vyasa Puja, may I begin to sincerely reciprocate with You, although I should know well that the debt to the spiritual master can never be repaid in a zillion lifetimes. As per Your recent instructions sent from the Chennai hospital, let me begin to reciprocate by reaffirming my commitment to chanting 16 rounds daily without keeping pending japa except in rare emergencies, following the four regulative principles always, keeping a daily sadhana program of aratis and studying Srila Prabhupada's books as well as hearing Prabhupada's and Your lectures regularly. Once these are ensured, I also wish to gradually try my best, in whatever humble way possible, to execute Your desire to see Srila Prabhupada's and Lord Chaitanya's names made famous in Kochi, the place I happen to live in.
Guru Maharaj, we are now trying to gradually develop the small ISKCON extension center in Kochi as an offering to Your lotus feet. Some very simple-at-heart, sincere devotees are gradually increasing their devotional commitments for personal practice and preaching. We were fortunate to take some of these devotees last month to Sridham Mayapur during the time of ILS and Kirtan Mela. All the devotees were visibly affected, charmed by the Mayapur atmosphere overflowing with such Gauranga-prema even an insensitive neophyte cannot but perceive. Everyone was in wonder, how by Srila Prabhupada's strong desire, Your Divine Grace along with some other veteran devotees have been transcendentally empowered to transform a rice field into such a vibrant international spiritual city where devotees from 160+ countries were visiting at the time we were there.
So these devotees are now very fired up from the Mayapur experience. Now a lot of effort in devotee education, training and care is required. Children's preaching is picking up, that also has to be organized. Book distribution, Nagar Sankirtan, College and Corporate preaching are all important. In addition, certain outreach programs we did in nearby areas shows that there is tremendous potential for Bhakti Vriksha preaching here. HG Srivas Krishna Chaitanya Prabhu has kindly agreed to guide and train local devotees in organized Bhakti Vriksha preaching. HH Bhakti Vinoda Swami Maharaj, HG Jagat Sakshi Prabhu, HG Satyamedha Prabhu and others are taking care of us. There is so much to do, and the energy, the intelligence and resources to do any of these things can come only by the mercy of Lord Balarama that flows through the disciplic succession and is made available by Your Divine Grace to those who are desirous of seeing You and Krishna pleased, albeit with our so many faults and imperfections.
Along with my parents, HG Ananta Srikrishna Prabhu and Gitesvari Gopika devi dasi and my sister Mahalekshmy, I offer my grateful, prostrated obeisances unto Your lotus feet on this most auspicious occasion of Your Vyasa Puja. We pray to Sri Sri Radha Madhava, Sri Pancha Tattva, Sri Mayapur Narasimhadev, Tulasi Maharani, Sri Hanumanji, the previous acharyas in our Guru Parampara and to His Divine Grace A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada that They kindly bless You and all of us Your children by enabling Your complete physical recovery and by allowing us to have Your personal association for many decades to come. Thank you Guru Maharaj, kindly forgive my so many offenses and continue to keep me under Your protection. I pray that someday I may qualify to be a disciple. Regardless of when that happens, let me serve You, even life after life.
Your eternal servant,
Gopal Gaura Guru das (diksha)
Kochi, Kerala, India