Hare krishna Guru maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances
All glories to Srila Prabhupada
Gurudev though i got initiated by you last year (2017 - Detroit), it almost feels like i have grown up knowing you, serving you and moving along with you wherever you went along the length and breadth of mathuradesh. I came into Krishna consciousness in mathuradesh and i also developed my relation with you in this life in mathuradesh. Although when i was small i was immature and i didn't know the value of guru, but i was very happy doing service for you, sitting next to you while you eat, because you would entertain all of us kids and also secretly be expectant of some sweet from your plate. Most of us kids were excited when you come to mathuradesh, because we would come home and change and come visit you wherever you had taken up residence (Mostly Venugopal Prabhu's house). I would be happy to come see you and stay with you. I was also happy to skip my studies at the same time on the pretext of seeing you. And no one really pestered me to study or do anything else. You were gurudev a reason to escape my studies which i really didnt like doing but even in those days of immaturity i liked being very much with you. No one ever stopped me from entering your room when you were taking rest or were having a conversation because i was small (12-13 years old then) and i didn't pose any danger of disturbance for you or anybody in that room. i would quietly come and do my service. I once remember me and this other boy (Udayan aka Partha), were massaging your feet from inside study table. And we joyfully doing it. Massaging your lotus feet was our constant service. As kids we were excited holding your saffron side bag with the huge whompers. We were excited holding your walking stick and tapping devotees heads with it. We were so much excited going to the farms and jumping into the pool with you. Farm programs was my favorite pastime whenever you came to mathuradesh and i would always be looking forward for it.
Gurudev now when i am somewhat little matured, i can understand that all that i was thinking as "Fun" and "enjoyment" when i was with you was actually the causeless mercy provided by you via the parampara. I honestly never paid much attention to your lectures in my childhood days, either because i was fanning you or simply waiting for the time when you would make us laugh or simply waiting for the program to end so i can give you the sweet prasad from the bowl so you can give it to all the devotees. Fast forward 15 years, now i listen to your lectures from 80's and i can understand them with my limited brain and they are so full of nectar. I felt ashamed that i was not able to grasp the many stories from gaur lila when i was young, felt bad that i let go of an opportunity to understand the pastimes of gauranga. Neverthless Gurudev i am listening to your lectures while going to and from work and i really enjoy and appreciate the devotees who preserved this treasure.
Gurudev, i moved to Toronto, in the year 2006 and i have been residing there since then. Unlike mathuradesh where i was able to get your darshan every year, i get to see you every couples of years and sometimes we come to the US to visit you. I came to atlanta to visit you during panihatti festival (ISKCON 50) in 2016. One of the reasons i had travelled was to seek permission and blessings from you for marrying your disciple Daskina vrajagopi devi das (Iskcon south bangalore - Jagannath mandir). While travelling to Atlanta from Toronto, i was telling your pastimes to one another god-sister when i was young and was telling her, "Now i don't think they will me near guru maharaja, because of his health and also because i am no more a kid. They will look at me as an adult and won't let me in." But i also told mataji that i would be very happy to see guru maharaja after so long. When i came into the house where you were residing, one of the devotees asked me to carry the table into your room and i instantaneously lifted the table and thought atleast i will get to see you upclose before being ousted out. But then by your mercy, as soon as i came in with the table, they locked me in the room with you and other disciples.There was already a devotee askign other devotees to leave because you were about the have your meal, using the presence of mind, i just pretended to do something and immediately a devotee gave a bowl to keep it underneath your mouth while Vasudev prabhu was feeding you. You just turned around and saw me and that's it my visit to atlanta was fulfilled and i was engaged in your service.
I was supposed to talk to you about marriage and all that, but i felt so content with the service that i didn't mention it. Later on Kalasudha mataji mentioned it you and you just asked me why i didnt take initiation from you yet and whether i was following the 4 regulative principles or not. In the year 2017, i came to detroit and took initiation from you gurudeva and a week later i got married in bangalore. Post initiation i understood that association with your "Vani" was very important and essential, so i started listening to your lectures and under the guidance of senior devotees i started transcribing your lectures as well. Currently, i am putting my efforts to bring together all your disciples from Toronto and maintain a forum where we can communicate your instructions exclusively to all the disciples. This service was already accomplished by other senior disciples, i just built upon their accomplishments. Right now we created a page, containing information related to your disciples of toronto and their activities here such as monthly JSSS meet, yearly vysasapuja meetings, Bhakti Vriksha reports, information for aspiring disciples, your exlclusive instructions. Our aim is to provide you brief reports of the activities happening in toronto particularly pertaining to the your disciples.
Gurudev after initiation i feel energized in krishna consciousness, but there is a lot to improve and with your mercy i will. I am trying to read scriptures scrutinizingly and learning from the association of devotees. I also want to chant more sincerely gurudev and i am trying to accomplish chanting in the early hours rather than late at night. Whenever i feel a lack of dedication, i think about your dedication and your sincerity because of which we all are here. Everyday before i leave home, i take your blessings, so as to keep me rooted in krishna consciousness and not deviate and not be overcome by pride or any such quality. Gurudev i want an opportunity to serve you as your servant and i am always longing for your big embrace which i have been fond of since childhood.
Lastly my dear gurudev, i offer Bhaktivinod Thakur's song "Ohe Vaishnava Thakura" as an offering to you with all my heart. Within my experience from childhood to now, you really are "doyara sagara" and i am the witness.
please accept my humble obeisances again and again.
Your servant
Sudarshan Gopal Das
On behalf of
Radha Govinda Hari Das (Father)
Sowmya Gaurangi Devi Dasi (Mother)
Dakshina Vrajagopi Devi Dasi (Wife)
Pooja Ravindranath (Sister)
