Hare Kṛṣṇa my Beloved and Dearest Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my respectful obeisances at your lotus feet!
All glories to you!
All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda!
My dearest Gurudeva, I never thought I would be writing this to you someday, for I never thought I would even deserve to be in a position to offer my respectful and loving homages at your lotus feet. I still remember the email you sent me as a response to my email, the amount of unconditional love, intense compassion, and the causeless mercy that you poured over me truly pierced my heart. Your words in the email run on my mind all day every day, that is the power and purity of your nectarine words and speech. Every time I listen to your lectures, your voice becomes the only thing in the three-fold world that calms my restless wicked mind. Thank you for sending your blessings and love to me even though I am least deserving of it. I always prayed to the Lord for a fatherly figure that I can cry to and Lord Kṛṣṇa sent you like the best eternal spiritual father that I can ever have. Dear Gurudeva, I thank you for always reciprocating to me in the most wonderful ways that I can ever imagine. I did not know what true selfless love is until I saw your selfless love towards all of us. There is so much to learn from you my glorious dearest Gurudeva, you inspire me to become an obedient soul of the Supreme Lord, and my relationship with you has been the sweetest relationship of my life, I am so grateful to the Lord to have you and I am so grateful to you for accepting me despite all my faults and short-comings. Your ever-compassionate nature gives me the courage every single day to do better and become better in my Kṛṣṇa Consciousness for you to please you. I try my level best to not do anything that displeases you, but I fail, again and again, please bless me that I can please you for eternity, please bless me that I serve your lotus feet and become a stronger soldier in the army of Gaura-Nitāi! I do not know what I have done in my previous lifetimes or in this lifetime to be able to chant with your pranam mantra and to be able to be under your loving shelter. Dear Gurudeva, I am hankering to meet you but I am unable to, so every single day I try my level best to live by your instructions in your separation. Whenever I do Guru Pūjā, I feel a step closer to you, please bless me that I take many more steps closer to you. Dear Gurudeva, please bless me that I continue to chant my minimum of 16 rounds every day without fail, I am ever-greedy for your causeless mercy and hankering to take shelter under you and receive initiation from you one day. I do not deserve to be saved by you, my dear Guru Mahārāja, but I know you are my only true hero and savior. Dearest Gurudeva, please bless me so I can bring more souls to the lotus feet of Rādhā Gopīnātha, it is true that I am incapable of that and unqualified but if you bless me and bestow your choicest mercy upon me then it can happen. Therefore, please bless me so I can do more service to you and to all the Vaiṣṇavas for I survive each day only because of your causeless mercy. Another plea of my heart is that my dear Gurudeva, please forgive me for all my offenses, I am fallen and I cannot go any further in Kṛṣṇa Consciousness without your forgiveness and compassion. Please always keep this insignificant jīva under your lotus feet, I beg you to please never leave me for I am nothing without your causeless mercy. I am your retarded eternal child, therefore, I need you the most my dearest Gurudeva, once again please forgive me for my offenses and keep me at the dust of your lotus feet so that I can serve you, all the Vaiṣṇavas, and the Supreme Lord for eternity.
Your most insignificant spiritual daughter and aspiring to become significant only by your mercy,
Urooj Khanna (aspiring disciple)
Sydney, Australia
