nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate jayapatāka svāmin iti nāmine
nama ācaryapādāya nitāi-kṛpā-pradāyine
gaura-kathā-dhāma-dāya nagara-grāma-tāriṇe
Our dearest protector, guide, father, Spiritual Master,
Please accept our respectful obeisances unto your lotus feet.
All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda! All glories to Your Holiness!
Your example shows us how once you accept a soul as a disciple, how much of your time, energy, mind and resources you invest to make him/ her a proper disciple, so that the disciples can advance in this path.
I remember a vivid dream, shortly after my initiation, in which you appeared and with a concerned face, you told me, “Actually you have not taken shelter of me.”
Twelve years later, when my name was missed from the list of second initiates which was to take place the next day, the president said that it’s very late now to do all the formalities and we can do it in your next visit. At that time while you were honoring prasad, you told, “Actually you are not surrendered enough.” You told in such a way, in such a tone while honoring prasad that only I could clearly hear it although there were many in the room.
Guru Mahārāja, you have given, are giving and will give all the opportunities for me to surrender, but it’s simply due to pride, I am consistently, subtly refusing to surrender myself. And the fact is that you know me thoroughly in and out. You know the struggles that are deep inside which I myself am unaware of. You are patient and persistent in turning me into a pure devotee.
Śrīla Prabhupāda writes, “A person may have a bona fide spiritual master and may be attached to a spiritual organization, but if he is still not intelligent enough to make progress, then Kṛṣṇa from within gives him instructions so that he may ultimately come to Him without difficulty. The qualification is that a person always engage himself in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and with love and devotion render all kinds of services.” (Bg 10.10, purport)
I am not intelligent enough to make progress, Hence I pray with all my heart, may I not miss this once- forever opportunity to surrender unto your lotus feet. Let me really be a surrendered disciple like many of my God-siblings.
Seeing your interactions of true care, appreciation, and love with the good family in zoom visits, gives us a glimpse of your magnanimous heart. Your JPS care initiative to reach each one of us is simply heart touching. The question-and-answer sessions are simply enlightening and it’s truly blissful to see your practical solutions for all the problems. Let me be a true recipient of this guidance and mercy and surrender unto you.
In the past year, you have engaged me in services such as Bhakti-vṛkṣa, kid’s classes, book distribution and cooking for the Deities, Śrī Śrī Rādhā Kṣīracorā Gopīnatha in Toronto. Please pardon my offenses in all these services and please engage me in more services for your pleasure.
There’s nothing significant that I can report although I remember your goal is to see that a significant percentage of world population take up devotional services. Ultimately, let me surrender unto you and be a part of the team that will realize your dreams and be your instrument in your service to Śrīla Prabhupāda!
Seeing you pass through yet another dangerous test, a blood clot and an urgent surgery, and your consciousness fixed in service always, unaffected by extreme physical difficulties, we simply bow down to your transcendental consciousness always fixed at the lotus feet of Śrī Śrī Nitāi Gaurāṅga. You are ever ready to deliver us. Let me please surrender unto you and be fixed in your service.
Praying with all earnestness at the lotus feet of Lord Narasiṁhadeva for your good health and traveling and preaching.
Please pardon my offenses. Please engage me in your service eternally. Please let me surrender unto your lotus feet.
Your insignificant servant,
Lalitāṅgī Rādhā Devī Dāsī (dīkṣa)
Canada (Toronto)