My dear spiritual father,
nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate jayapatākā-svāmin iti nāmine
namo ācāryapādāya nitāi-kṛpa-pradāyine
gaura-kathā dhāmadāya nagara-grāma tāriṇe
Please accept my respecful obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to Your Divine Grace!
This year, your health situation has reached such a state that it shows, without a shadow of doubt, your unlimited purity, because you are facing the situation without the slightest turmoil, self-pity, reduction in your loving service to Srila Parabhupada, and indeed, with amazing humour! You are completely disconnected from your body, and your mind remains completely tranquil and clear.
You have mentioned repeatedly that those of your disciples who are violating the regulative principles are the main cause of your ill health.
I am thinking beyond this now, and have realised that it is my duty, as your disciple, to root out my mode of passion, which clearly stands out as a black mark in front of your purity. How can I be complacent and assume that 'only Guru Maharaja can be so pure', and continue as before?
I am now therefore every day actively working to remove this mountain of dirt from my heart, bit by bit. I do this by constantly trying to vibrate ths sound of the Holy Name of Lord Gauranga under my breath. By doing my loving service to you with the sole aim of pleasing you. By completely avoiding any attempt to convert any part of my service to gain a position of name, fame, or authority. By treating my service as a responsibility which I have taken, and not an authority which has been granted to me. By never doing anything to reduce the service of my godbrothers out of fear that it may threaten my illusory authority.
But I can succeed in this only with your mercy, dear spiritual father! Please shower your mercy on my, Prema Padmini, Pradeep, and Ananth, and destory the obstacles in our path to pure loving service to you, whether created by others, or by our own minds.
Your fallen spiritual son,
Vijay Venugopal Dasa