oṁ ajñāna-timirāndhasya jñānāñjana-śalākayā
cakṣur unmīlitaṁ yena tasmai śrī-gurave namaḥ
I offer my humble obeisances onto the Lotus Feet of my worshipable Spiritual master His Holiness Jayapatākā Swami Guru Mahārāja
All Glories to Your auspicious Appearance day Śrīla Guru Mahārāja!
All Glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda!
Dearest Śrīla Guru Mahārāja
Hare Kṛṣṇa,
All Glories to Your All Auspicious Appearance Day
First of all I want to request forgiveness for all the offences I have committed at Your Divine Lotus Feet. I have one after another committed offences at Your Lotus Feet and You have been forgiving me. I try not to commit offences but always end up not following Your instructions and engage in sense gratification, But still how merciful are You.
Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, I have been so sinful that although I got Your mercy, but still due to my great misfortune and pride, I actually misunderstood You and committed a very great offence at Your lotus feet. For this offence Their Lordships Śrī Śrī Gaura Nitāi at Juhu even punished me, but still due to ignorance my mind conspires with me. I used to take online darshan of Their Lordships at Juhu. During that time, somehow I read some false criticism about You from sites made by a few envious people who wanted to blaspheme Śrīla Prabhupāda and His mission. Oh, how angry the most merciful Personalities became. For nearly a month Śrī Śrī Gaur Nitāi didn’t give Their darshan. In the beginning I was not able to understand why Śrī Śrī Gaur Nitāi had become so angry although they are the most merciful. But later when I heard Śrīnatha Prahu jī Glorifying You then I understood how dear are You Śrīla Guru Mahārāja to Śrī Śrī Gaura Nitāi and Śrīla Prabhupāda, and how dedicatedly You have been serving them. Nearly a month later, when I started to regularly attend Your lectures and was trying to hear more of Your glorification and was asking Their Lordships to now have mercy on me to become Your faithful servant. Oh, finally on one afternoon Bhoga Ārati all of a sudden Their camera started. As soon as I saw them I prayed to them to forgive me and let me become a dedicated servant of Yours Śrīla Guru Mahārāja.
But Guru Mahārāja I have now understood that I have done such a great blunder that I am unqualified to get even the mercy of the most magnanimous Lord Nityānanda then what to say of Lord Gaurāṅga. They have not resumed giving darśana because I have become nice but because You are very merciful.
Without Your mercy Śrīla Guru Mahārāja I have no existence, without Your shelter Śrīla Guru Mahārāja I am just like a small new born puppy is, near a busy street without its Master. Every moment he has a fear of being eaten up by some other big dog, or being smashed under some fast-moving vehicle, but as soon as its Master comes and takes it under His shelter, oh, then there is no more fear. Please take me under Your shelter, this world is very bad. Here even parents leave their own children for their personal interests. There is no shelter in this world but still Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, I am so fallen that again and again I look back towards this material world with some expectation of happiness. Śrīla Guru Mahārāja I am fallen and poor and have been quite injured by the mad elephant of Vaiṣṇava Aparādhā, please have mercy on me, I have no existence without Your mercy. Although my position is so fallen, Śrīla Guru Mahārāja but still again and again pride comes in heart for no reason, please have mercy on me Śrīla Guru Mahārāja that every time I become proud may it be broken, may I be able to see myself as Your servant. I desire to serve You Śrīla Guru Mahārāja but I am so unfortunate that I am not even able to do that. I am qualified for nothing, Śrīla Guru Mahārāja for I am rejected by the most merciful Śrī Śrī Nitāi Gaura, but Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, You can save me if it so pleases You. You can save me or throw me away as dirt, as You wish Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, But I request You Śrīla Guru Mahārāja to kindly place me as a dust particle under Your Divine Lotus Feet, for I do not desire to leave and go back to material sense gratification. Kindly accept this poor and fallen soul as Your servant.
How great are You Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, surely my words are less in Your Glorification. Please have mercy on me Śrīla Guru Mahārāja so that I may be able to faithfully serve You without any pride and without any sense of being recognized or any other dirt in mind.
All Glories to You Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, How merciful are You, How Great are You and who sinful am I to blaspheme You, please have mercy on this sinful person.
Your insignificant aspiring servant
Rādhe (Vaṅśika) (aspiring disciple)
Mumbai (Vasai), Maharashtra, India