Vyāsa-pūjā 2023

Dear Respected Guru Mahārāja,

Please accept my respectful obeisances.

All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda.

I have been a disobedient spiritual son, still not realizing the value of the gift of Kṛṣṇa consciousness that you, Śrīla Prabhupāda and Lord Caitanya have given me. Despite me being an ungrateful recipient, your mercy is so immense that your life of sacrifice and compassion has managed to put a small drop of attachment towards you in my dull, ignorant, hard heart. It is your greatness Guru Mahārāja, that I am able to find shelter and hope in your vāṇī, despite struggling horribly with my mind and some external challenging situations in the last 2-3 years. I have found great hope, guidance and encouragement in your Caitanya-līlā classes. For a long time since my initiation in 2020, I felt I lacked a personal relationship with you and was not able to appreciate your classes much, but by your mercy, somehow now I am finding great shelter and realizing that your classes and instructions are my life sustaining force, and you are the pivot of my spiritual life. I wish to protect this drop of faith and attachment that I have towards you and sincerely pray that may this drop become an ocean so that I may become vyavasāyātmikā buddhiḥ and be a completely malleable obedient disciple in your hands.

Your efforts to care for each and every disciple is incredible. How you are sharing your daily activities through your app is so inspiring. Despite such poor health, you are relentlessly continuing to give classes and rendering service to Śrīla Prabhupāda. Your glories are innumerable but these are a few that have touched even a dull hearted person like me.

I have almost completed my Bhakti Shastri and have begun Bhakti-vaibhava as per your instructions. These courses have helped me deeply understand the siddhānta. I however need to more sincerely apply the teachings and practice bhakti with due diligence. I am trying to hear your Caitanya-līlā class every day. I helplessly beg your mercy to be able to steadily continue doing so and not get carried away by my conditionings of lower modes.

In one of your classes, I had asked you a question about how a Gṛhastha should live and I have taken your answer as a serious instruction. You said that Gṛhasthas should daily chant minimum 16 rounds, follow 4 regulative principles, study shastras, worship the deity, perform āratis and kīrtanas, offer bhoga, accept prasāda, and remind one another to always keep Kṛṣṇa in the Centre. Also, you want your Gṛhastha disciples to be paramahaṁsas and try to preach while always being Kṛṣṇa conscious themselves.

I am not rendering any active services as of now except occasionally taking Śrīla Prabhupāda book reading for some students. I hope to offer something valuable in the future by become a better devotee. I have also not been taking regular physical association at the temple due to some mental reservations that I am finding difficult to overcome. I don’t want to remain this way and wish to become a better servant of Vaiṣṇavas and eagerly seek their association.

Gurudeva, I earnestly seek your mercy to be able to give up the anarthas that trouble my mind so that I can remain enthusiastic in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. I aspire to come up in my sādhana, seva and sadāchara to the standards that would please you. Please be merciful upon me.

Your insignificant servant,

Anadi Aksaya Kṛṣṇa Dāsa