nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate bhaktivedānta-svāminn iti nāmine
namas te sārasvate deve gaura-vāṇī-pracāriṇe
nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇe
My dear spiritual father,
Please accept my respectful obeisance’s unto your lotus feet.
It’s quite a quandary I face every year during your Vyāsa-pūjā on what should I write? Because to write something about you means to glorify you and to glorify you, I need to fathom first the greatness of your mercy. The day I understand that is the day I will be able to pen a few words in your glory.
Śrīla Gaura Govinda Mahārāja mentions in his guru-tattva lecture that Śrī Guru is ‘Bhagavat-kṛpā-mūrti’, which got me thinking about how you are the embodiment of that mercy which exists in the heart of Lord Kṛṣṇa. Although this made me happy and joyous, but an eerie fear creeped up my body when the very next moment I realized how I have been disrespectful to the Lord by disrespecting you by not being able to follow your instructions.
Śrīla Guru Mahārāja, you exemplify how a disciple should sacrifice everything he owns when it comes to following the Instructions of the guru. You have never given a second thought to give up anything that has posed as a hindrance in your efforts to please Śrīla Prabhupāda. So much so that despite your physical discomforts and so-called hindrance you have still managed to achieve the impossible. This only shows how much you truly value the instructions of Śrīla Prabhupāda. A famous Bengali proverb I read once explained that ‘For every tree is known by his own fruit’, and You are the living example of that. Just as your guru dedicated his life to the instructions of his guru, so did you accept that mood of Śrīla Prabhupāda and dedicated your life to him.
But although as your disciple I should have reflected your mood of dedicating my life to your instructions, I have rather chosen to indulge my senses in the deep pits of sense pleasures which are filled with the venomous snakes of objects of sense pleasure. I am so blind that although I see these vicious snakes coiled up to my bhakti-latā creeper, rather than getting rid of them I secretly feed them with my attention.
You have only showered us with the mercy of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu just as a great tree gives us its cooling shade to protect us from the scorching heat of the material desires, but I have been so ungrateful disciple of yours that I have only tried to chop off that tree by not following your Instructions. An offence which is not forgivable, yet you keep forgiving me. Your mercy is like the sunshine which never ends and only keeps dissipating the darkness of my ignorance by reminding me of my duties I must perform by not acting to sleep in the lap of māyā.
At this all-auspicious time of your Vyāsa-pūjā, I conclude my offering by bow down my head to your Lotus feet and pray for your mercy. Kindly forgive me for all the known and unknown offence I keep committing to you.
Your Servant,
Akiñcana Dāmodara Dāsa