Dearest Śrīla Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my most respectful obeisances at Your lotus feet.
All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda.
All glories to You, my dearly beloved spiritual father.
Another year has passed and here I am again at Your lotus feet expressing all my gratitude and my desire to please You and, consequently, Śrīla Prabhupāda.
The recurrence of Your glorious Vyāsa Pūjā is always, for me, a reason to evaluate and become aware of the various aspects of our spiritual relationship.
I have the immense mercy to carry out a service that keeps me constantly in Your presence and contact: I translate Your messages into Italian on Your APP, together with my dear God-sister Lajja Lakṣmī mātājī, as well as other services, not least the family, blessed with the presence of our most beloved Lordships, and my son Gora Natha Raj Prabhu, a special Jīva whom Śrī Kṛṣṇa has entrusted to me and whom I help to mature and maintain at Your lotus feet. In his disability, I assure You, he is very determined to be a good devotee and servant of Śrī Śrī Jagannātha, Subhadrā, Baladeva, His Heart Lordships, and Yours.
Every day I realize Your tireless dedication to please Śrīla Prabhupāda. How many times have we told ourselves that this strength and energy can only come to You from Your desire to liberate the conditioned souls, as Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, Śrī Nityānanda Prabhu, Śrīla Prabhupāda wishes.
You are making so many sacrifices, You are so merciful and patient with everyone, that only a person empowered by the Supreme Lord can perform. Tribulations and physical suffering do not seem to affect You. You are always ready to give Yourself to help those in need.
I was very emotional when You asked His Holiness Kadamba Kanana Mahārāja:
“Do you have any services for me?”
Here is enclosed all Your mercy, availability, love for devotees, of course, but for all Jives in general.
When Śrīla Prabhupāda left this world, You, His disciples and direct children, were almost boys. Yet, you had to grow and mature quickly, identifying, going through, facing, overcoming many difficulties.
You have taken so much charge, so much responsibility, for us, and how are we repaying You? I really wish that You to be satisfied with our modus operandi, both as disciples, spiritual children, devotees, preachers, but often I realize how much we are still acting like children, sometimes capricious, sometimes mischievous, sometimes stubborn, but to whom You, with infinite patience repeat and repeat things, explain behaviors, give pearls of wisdom and useful instructions for our inner, human and above all spiritual growth. Trusting completely in Kṛṣṇa and Śrīla Prabhupāda and placing us all at Their lotus feet.
In the performance of my services I find myself thinking: “Why are there obstacles, cogs that don’t turn, communication and cooperation difficult between us, who are doing that service?”
Then I try to think about how to improve myself and be able to find a way so that everything can be done in a constructive way. One of the points, I thought, is sādhana, the chanting of the Holy Names. We know, everything starts from there, You have repeated it to us many times, and starting from this platform we will be able to listen more intensely to the inner voice, the Paramātmā.
Thank You very much for the prayers You offer for us. In the same way, I pray for You that Lord Kṛṣṇa will leave You here with us for a long time to come, without physical suffering and due to our negligence.
I have almost lived my entire existence in vipralambha, in separation, but You are always here, one way or another, in Your instructions, in the videos, in the messages of the App, and in every instant of my miserable existence.
You have always been a very loving and compassionate father.
Please always leave me in the safe shelter of Your lotus feet.
Your aspirant servant
Antaraṅga Śakti Devī Dāsī
