My Dear Beloved Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my respectful obeisances. All glories to your Divine Grace. All glories to our beloved Founder-Ācārya Śrīla Prabhupāda. All glories to our illustrious guru-paramparā.
Another one year has passed and I am always short of words in expressing my gratitude for all that you have offered me.
On your Vyāsa-pūjā last year in 2022 I obtained a copy of your biography “From Milwaukee to Māyāpur”. I thought that I would finish reading it right away, but I must shamelessly admit that your biography book was in my reading pile for a long time. I read so many other books, but your biography never came to the top of my priority list. This led to an honest realization that I do not have much love for you as much as I should. The glimpses of your greatness were evident from your early childhood days and even from the beginning days in ISKCON as described by Satyarāja Prabhu in your biography. I sincerely pray that I can curb this hellish mentality to think of you are an ordinary human being, or only focus on the external limitations of your current physical body. Hope one day I will be able to love you just like you love me.
This year there were many days when I could not complete chanting my prescribed number of rounds. On certain occasions, I also could not complete it the next day and had many many pending rounds. There were many days this year when chanting was the most difficult thing to do. Lifting up my bead bag felt more difficult than lifting a mountain. If someone covers the tongue with a thick cloth you cannot taste the food that you chew. My chanting was just like that. No taste. I kindly pray to you on this auspicious day that my spiritual intelligence is not stolen because of my offensive behavior, and I can develop the pure taste in the Holy Name that you so kindly came to give.
Your daily study of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s books to teach us by your example is simply stunning. We all know of the number of services you have on your plate and how busy you are. Simply listing out the number of services you are responsible for might take an hour. Yet as an ideal ācārya you are teaching us by your example the importance of studying Śrīla Prabhupāda’s books daily. Even with all these physical difficulties you are daily reading, sorry studying, Śrīla Prabhupāda’s books. You have completed your Bhakti-śāstrī and Bhakti-vaibhava exams. You even scored 100% in all your exams! How glorious. Now you are deeply studying for the Bhakti-vedanta exam. I sincerely hope I can also follow in your footsteps. I am presently doing my Bhaktivaibhava course through Māyāpur Institute and teaching the Bhakti-śāstrī course at ISKCON Milton. Somehow by your mercy, I am reading the commentaries on the Bhagavad-gītā by Śrīla Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura and Śrīla Baladeva Vidyābhuṣaṇa. I’m trying to share whatever little inspiration I have gained from the Ācārya commentaries with the students in my class. The secret of success is in pleasing the previous Ācāryas. My appreciation for Śrīla Prabhupāda’s purports only increases every time I study his books. This is happening only by your mercy Guru Mahārāja.
I sincerely desire to develop a taste for reading the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam every day for the rest of my life. Both my wife and I are trying to listen to a daily Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam class and chant japa in the association of devotees. We have also recently started a Bhāgavatam reading club where around 20-25 devotees join regularly to hear on Zoom.
You once mentioned to a devotee that if you read the Caitanya-caritāmṛta 100 times then you will very quickly develop pure love of Godhead. When this devotee asked if you had read the Caitanya-caritāmṛta 100 times you pulled him close and whispered in his ear “Long time ago”. Ever since I heard about this pastime of yours a desire has awakened within my heart that I also would like to read the Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta at least 100 times before I quit this body. I don’t know if I can even read the Caitanya-caritāmṛta 10 times what to speak of a hundred times. But your mercy can move mountains so I am hopeful that one day with your causeless mercy I can also fulfill this desire before I quit my body.
Lord Rāmacandra had great generals like Hanumān and many other powerful soldiers in bridging His bridge to Laṅka. He also accepted the service of a tiny squirrel that was sincerely trying to help him. I’m one little squirrel although insincere and disqualified nevertheless trying to serve in your glorious army. My efforts in trying to assist you in fulfilling Śrīla Prabhupāda’s instructions are insignificant. However, I sincerely pray that you will kindly accept me just like the Lord did and continue to pray for me. I hope very soon a day will come in my life when I will be able to serve the mission of Śrīla Prabhupāda without any motivation and interruption.
Sincerely praying for your good health.
Your spiritual son,
Naraharideva Dāsa