My dearest father,
Please accept my most respectful obeisances unto the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to You! All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda! All glories to Nitāi Gaurāṅga!
In this auspicious appearance day of yours, I feel fortunate to express my gratitude. Dear Guru Mahārāja, the world seems so scary, and my health is continually taking a toll on me. My body is hurting so much. A lot of times I find no strength to move on and only because of you I’m surviving. You’re the only reason behind my existence. I found no place safer in this world other than your lotus feet. Please don’t push me away, don’t abandon me, I beg.
Few months back I was going through worst phase of depression due to childhood trauma. I tried reaching you lot of times but ended up in JPS e-Care. It’s only because of you I’m writing this today. I would’ve died the other day due to suicide Guru Mahārāja. Nobody was there except you. I feel so fortunate to be your daughter. But everyday it kills me deep inside that I am still not your dīkṣā disciple. Anxiety attacks, depression is affecting my bhakti a lot. Please please bless me Guru Mahārāja, please bless me so that my initiation process will take place soon.
I found solace in you, wherever I am the only cure for fear is serving your lotus feet. I want to thank you again and again for always staying by my side.
Yours struggling daughter,
Lakshmitha JPS