To my dear father, His Holiness Jayapatākā Swami Gurudeva,
Please accept my respectful obeisances. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda! All glories to You, Śrīla Gurudeva, and Lord Gaurāṇga!
All glories to You on this auspicious Vyāsa-pūjā day of Yours! I am so grateful to be born during a time in which I have had the opportunity to associate with You and call You my father, my Gurudeva. With the abundant mercy I have received from both You and Kṛṣṇa, I am forever indebted.
I am currently 21 years old, pursuing my undergraduate degree at a university in Surathkal, Karnataka. However, I was brought up in Balarāmadeśa (Bahrain). My first registered memory of Yours was when I was 7 years old in 2008, You were walking through the Balarāmadeśa Gopal Kṛṣṇa temple, and I was running around, not having a care in the world. You came to me, placed Your śalagrāma-śilā ring on my head, and walked away. I knew nothing about You, Gurudeva, or how important You would be to me, but this memory is clear as day in my head. A few months after this, I only remember repeatedly chanting the Nṛsimha Kavacam for You, not knowing the severity of the stroke You had undergone. I remember how impacted everyone was around me (my parents and other devotees in the temple), and I felt the anxiety in the atmosphere and continued chanting for Your health.
Then came the Middle East Convention in Balarāmadeśa 2013; it was the first time I felt connected to You. I still remember standing on stage while singing ‘Yadi Prabhupāda Na Hoito’ before You. You put Your hands up in the air with difficulty while saying, ‘Haribol!’; I was overwhelmed by gratitude to & for You. I cried, not knowing why or what I was feeling. I was only 12 years old, but I had never felt (and since then, have never felt) that connected to someone in my life. The 5 days that followed then are still some of the best days of my life. It was the first time I understood and experienced what we commonly say in ISKCON: Mercy from Kṛṣṇa comes through the devotee of the devotee of the devotee of Kṛṣṇa. Your disciples Sudevī Rāṇī Mataji, Mahā Varāha Prabhu, Śatānanda Prabhu, and Veera Kṛṣṇa Prabhu were the ones who brought me to You and introduced me to You, and through my association with You, I felt inspired to pursue my Kṛṣṇa Consciousness journey more seriously. It was my first time associating with You personally: from being fed dosa-chutney by You to singing for You while You were honoring prasādam; You took time of Your precious day to bless me with words that made me feel so much love and affection, my little heart could not even handle it. Looking back on it, I realize now that this period was instrumental in establishing a strong Kṛṣṇa Conscious base for the rest of my life.
It’s been 10 years since then, and I have been immensely fortunate to have an abundant association with You through the years, but I am always constantly hankering for more. I am grateful for everything: the personal association in person and through email, the dreams You come in, Your daily online classes regardless of Your health, Your instructions through Your books and Your app, and more, but Gurudeva, I am greedy in this case. How can any amount of association with You ever be enough?
I owe everything to You, my dear Gurudeva. My entire life. Whatever little sādhanā I am doing today is only because of Your blessings. You are my definition for many English words: humility, determination, selflessness, strength, dedication, loving, merciful, inspiring, wise, teacher, and most importantly, father. Thank You. Thank You so so much for everything You do for us, Your disciples, and the rest of the world. Your loyalty and discipline towards Śrīla Prabhupāda’s instructions are significant sources of inspiration and strength constantly. You have not let Your physical problems come in between Your services to Your Guru and have set a prime example of a loving disciple. You are the pillar of strength for me to keep going every day, and there is no excuse for slacking when it comes to serving Kṛṣṇa. You have shown me what true love looks like: the love You have for Your Guru and Gaurāṇga, and at the same time, the love for Your fallen disciples. I remember once, during an initiation ceremony, you so readily chanted the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra while accepting the devotees as Your disciples. This also meant taking on their karma, and the ease with which You took this upon Yourself brought tears to my eyes. The pain You undergo due to Your various health issues has not stopped You in any way from accepting more disciples (more Karma), thus more pain. The dedication to Your Guru and the mercy to Your disciples! I see the way You persistently take the time of Your day to respond to emails from Your various disciples and actively try to remain involved in everyone’s lives personally if not through JPS-Care. I see the way You take classes every single day, even when Your health is not good, just to make sure You engage Your disciples in listening to the glories of Gaurāṇga and so You can bless them after the class with love for Kṛṣṇa. I see the way You go out of Your way to travel and preach the Lord’s glories while meeting Your disciples and making new ones. I see the way You love and care for each single one of Your disciples as if they were Your own child, the true definition of unconditional love. How can I ever repay You, my Gurudeva? I am forever indebted to You! I am so grateful to Kṛṣṇa and Śrīla Prabhupāda every single day for blessing me with You.
I feel Your presence and hand, along with Kṛṣṇa’s, in everything in my life. Being a university student, being at a hostel away from the association of devotees is incredibly hard. But I never ever feel like my prayers or thoughts to both You and Kṛṣṇa go unheard. I am so incredibly fortunate to feel the reciprocation for everything almost immediately: be it through my interaction with some devotee or disciple of Yours, through some daily quote of Yours or Śrīla Prabhupāda’s, or through some class or book I read. I am highly grateful to You, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and Hṛśīkeṣa for never letting me feel alone or unloved and constantly being there.
Please forgive me for any offenses I have committed, Gurudeva. I took guru-āśraya from You last year, Gurudeva, and I am preparing to be initiated by You. I know I am thoroughly unqualified, but I pray to You that when the time comes, You shower me with mercy and accept me officially as Your Spiritual Daughter. Please bless me, Gurudeva, so I may always only do what pleases You, Śrīla Prabhupāda, Gaurāṇga, and Rādhā-Mādhava. Please bless me so that wherever I end up after university, I am in constant association with devotees and serving Kṛṣṇa while following Your instructions. Please bless me so I may be of whatever little help possible in fulfilling Your instructions from Your Spiritual Master. Please constantly keep me under the shelter of Your lotus feet.
I fervently pray to Rādhā-Mādhava, Hṛśīkeṣa, Jagannātha-Baladeva-Subhadrā, Śrī Nṛsiṁhadeva, and Pañca-tattva that You may be kept in the best of health possible so that You may be able to continue preaching Lord Caitanya’s movement and achieving Śrīla Prabhupāda’s vision, and so that I along with the rest of the devotees may continue being blessed in associating with You and serving Your lotus feet.
I once again offer my respectful obeisances unto your lotus feet on behalf of my father Varada Gopāla Dāsa, my mother Sukīrti Subhadrā Devī Dāsī and myself. Please keep us locked under your and Kṛṣṇa’s lotus feet forever. Thank You for everything, Gurudeva. Hare Kṛṣṇa Gurudeva!
Your unqualified fallen daughter,
Rakshita