nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate jayapatāka svāmin iti nāmine
nama ācaryapādāya nitāi-kṛpā-pradāyine
gaura-kathā-dhāma-dāya nagara-grāma-tāriṇe
nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate bhaktivedānta-svāmin iti nāmine
namas te sārasvate deve gaura-vāṇī-pracāriṇe
nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇe
To my Dearest Gurudeva,
Hare Kṛṣṇa Guru Mahārāja.
Please accept my respectful obeisances. How are you Gurudeva? How is your health?
On the occasion of your 75th Vyāsa-pūjā day, I want to wish you a very happy Kṛṣṇa conscious appearance day. From the bottom of my heart, please accept my deepest gratitude for everything you have mercifully given me. I have stated it before and I will continue to do so until my dying day but everything I am, every single quality, knowledge, recognition, talent, etc. that I have is only because of you and my śīkṣā-gurus. Looking around at the world, I feel nothing but horror at how I would have ended up living my life if you hadn’t rescued me.
In school, we learn statistics regarding health problems, fatalities, etc. There is so much misery (duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam) and I am well aware that I am beyond fortunate to both be healthy and have stumbled into Kṛṣṇa consciousness instead of the couple million ghastly habits that are now popular. There is no doubt in my mind that it was not me who did anything but rather my parents, my śīkṣā-gurus, and you dear Gurudeva who rescued and raised me with causeless mercy.
I have so much and so many blessings, but I feel like I am misusing all of them. On this auspicious occasion of your appearance day, I want to make a vow to always treasure what I have. This opportunity that I have been given of being born in a devotee family, having His Grace Caitanya Avatārī Prabhu and Her Grace Rasamayī Mātājī as my śikṣā-gurus, and by having you as my spiritual master is so priceless and I have to stop squandering it. This is my wakeup call. Two years since you mercifully gave me the gift of diksha under you and what have I done since then? Nothing.
O Gurudeva! You are my everlasting inspiration and you accepted me through your causeless mercy. You have given me so much and in return all I have given you is failure. My deepest desire and daily prayer is that I should be a better disciple for you and through my actions I should never bring shame to you. I will never be able to repay you but at the very least I need to stop wasting your invaluable mercy. I made vows to you in front of Parama Karuṇa Nitāi-Gaura, Jagannātha Baladeva Subhadrā, Rādhā Madana-mohana and Agnideva to follow the 4 regulative principles, chant my 16 rounds, and in whatever way possible, assist you in fulfilling Śrīla Prabhupāda’s mission. As fallen as I am, only your blessings can lift me and as such, I am begging you to please give me the mercy and blessings needed to preach and reach more souls. How can I ask for more of your mercy when you have given so much that I wasted? Your classes are available to all like lifelines and I am wasting the opportunity by not catching the lifelines you are handing to me. Yet, I can only continue to beg for the moonbeams of your mercy.
Dear Gurudeva, I have an endless debt to you. Please use me as another tool to spread the holy name, the teachings of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and all the stalwart ācāryas, as well as completing the instructions of Śrīla Prabhupāda. I want to preach and bring fame to you through my actions. I need to be a better disciple, one who is not so much of a burden for you.
I pray that you remain a beacon of hope for both me and millions of other living entities across the world for many years to come. Please keep raining down your mercy and only with it can I do anything. You are the lighthouse in the dark that pulls me in and shows me the path during the stormy night.
Please take care of your health Gurudeva. We all are praying daily for your health and wellbeing so that you can continue to save thousands.
Again, I wish you a very happy Kṛṣṇa conscious 75th appearance day. Please accept my repeated obeisances at your lotus feet.
Your Insignificant Spiritual Daughter,
(who I promise will improve),
Divya Rādhārāṇī Devī Dāsī
