Dearest Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my humble obeisances!! This is your sheltered servant, Himanshu from Bangalore (trying to being in Kṛṣṇa consciousness under the guidance of His Grace Caitanya Avatārī Prabhu, President, New Rājāpur Jagannātha Dhāma, Magadi Main Road, Bangalore) and by your mercy. On this 75th Vyāsa-pūjā of Guru Mahārāja, I wanted to pen down a few thoughts circling my mind though I know I am incapable of writing anything about Guru Mahārāja, who is an associate of Caitanya Mahāprabhu. Still with your mercy, Guru Mahārāja, I am making an attempt - I am fortunate to have your darśana multiple times in the last one year, when you visited Bangalore last year and stayed in New Rājāpur Jagannātha Dhāma and then on my recent trip to Māyāpur (1st to 6th March 2024). When I reflect on the moments, I always feel that I am nothing more than a most fallen soul and even thinking of having your darśana is a big thing. But you are full of mercy for the fallen souls. I had the privilege to serve you and your team when you visited Bangalore (New Rājāpur Jagannātha Dhāma last year). Subsequently, when you were hospitalized in Aster CMI hospital in Bangalore, I made multiple visits to the hospital to ferry the team and your bag, etc. I felt as if someone my own, my own relative is being admitted and I need to do something to make the stay comfortable. When on the 2nd day of your hospitalization, Vaiṣṇava and Nitāi Prabhu announced that we need B+ blood for Guru Mahārāja, I called him without a second thought that I have B+ and I will go. I felt so blissful that I could contribute a little for Guru Mahārāja’s health and I was extremely happy that Guru Mahārāja has chosen me for this service. Though by the time we reached the hospital, some other devotees had donated the blood, but my feeling was still the same as at least I could at subtle level had a thought to serve the Guru Mahārāja without any quid pro quo. After a few months, one night I had a dream that Guru Mahārāja is sitting in a meeting behind a glass enclosure, and I am standing outside along with a few devotees. Suddenly, Guru Mahārāja stood up from his wheelchair, walked normally and touched me with his right hand. I fainted in ecstasy and after that I woke up with goosebumps and a spiritual feeling. I am never able to forget that dream. I do not still know the reason for why Guru Mahārāja gave darśana in my dream that night (I wasn’t thinking about him the previous day or night but still he was merciful). Lastly, I would like to narrate my recent experience in Māyāpur with Guru Mahārāja. I think, as Caitanya Avatārī Prabhu said, that such moments should be locked in the heart for life. This trip gave me such moments. The very next day we reached, we had Guru Mahārāja’s darśana in the morning. We were not expecting to see Guru Mahārāja that time and thought to see only during his evening class. As we were going for prasāda in lotus building, we overheard from the security that Guru Mahārāja is about to come and we stood there. Had a beautiful darśana of Guru Mahārāja. Then in the evening classes, we were fortunate to see Guru Mahārāja for hours. Whenever I see Guru Mahārāja, my heart pains, I feel like crying. Guru Mahārāja is taking so much pain but whenever I see him, he will be so energetic, so enthusiastic to deliver devotional nectar from his mouth even though he has such a difficulty in talking. I feel myself to be the most fallen soul that here Guru Mahārāja is taking pain for his devotees, for their upliftment, and what am I doing on my part to take best care of Guru Mahārāja? This question comes every time in my heart, I do not get any answer because of my deficiencies but it pains my heart. Whenever I get a thought to slow down or deviate, I just remember Guru Mahārāja and the effort he is taking to uplift us. That encourages me to go back to improve my consciousness. I pray to Jagannath to give best health to Guru Mahārāja so that my dream (of Guru Mahārāja standing from his wheelchair and walking normally) comes true and we can be part of his blissful association for a very long time. Daṇḍavat Praṇāma in the holy feet of Guru Mahārāja!
Your sheltered servant,
Himanshu Aggarwal
Yātrā: New Rājāpur Jagannātha Dhāma,
Magadi Main Road, Bangalore