Please accept my respectful obeisances at Your lotus feet!
All glories to You!
All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda!
Dearest Guru Mahārāja, my beloved spiritual father, savior of the fallen souls, and well-wisher of the entire universe,
I am most fortunate to have the opportunity to write to You on this auspicious day of Your divine appearance. With Your appearance came a ray of hope for all the unfortunate jīvas like myself—struggling helplessly in the vice-like grip of Māyā, bound by pain, suffering, and repeated birth and death.
Please kindly accept this humble offering as an attempt to praise Your divine qualities and glorious activities.
I often think—Where would I be without You and Your disciples?
I am trying every day to perform my sādhana with pure consciousness, but I struggle. My mind is uncontrolled, and sense gratification remains an obstacle. Yet, by Your mercy, I continue trying to improve, now with greater determination.
By Your causeless mercy, I have received the sacred status of brāhmaṇa, though I know I am completely unqualified. At my second initiation, you reminded us that from that point onward, our actions carry weight—and our karma is our own responsibility.
Please guide me, Gurudeva, to develop brahminical and Vaiṣṇava qualities, and to live without offense.
Even when I do a little service, I find myself seeking recognition and pride. I beg Your mercy to reside in my heart like the Supersoul, guiding me to develop genuine humility, surrender, and pure devotional mood, free from pride or desire for recognition.
I pray to Śrī Śrī Rādhā Mādhava that my words and actions never cause You suffering.
I am now 58 years old, but my heart is still caught in the old habits of false independence. Now, at this turning point, I pray again and again at Your lotus feet:
O my vice-lord, be kind enough to take away my minute independence.
Do not offer me the choice—only Your service.
I have no power to discriminate, no understanding of my real self-interest. I beg You—make me Your eternal slave. Do not allow me to speculate or make plans of my own.
My mind constantly speculates, becoming distracted and agitated by things that haven’t happened. I pray to You—please vanquish this disturbance. Let my mind be calm, peaceful, and fixed in service. Whether in comfort or discomfort, surrounded by others or alone—let my heart remain steady and eager to serve You and Your disciples with sincerity, devotion, and gratitude.
Let all my own plans go to hell.
Let Your desires be fulfilled.
Let me be Your obedient servant, desiring only what You desire.
On June 22, I faced serious problems at my job, but by Your causeless mercy, I received another opportunity. I now work in a new hospital and live with devotees. Please bless me to live without offenses, keep my mind fixed on sādhana, and develop deep attachment to Your lotus feet, not toward sense enjoyment.
When I eventually move from my current housing, may I carry the same devotional behavior and purity of thought, regardless of who is around me.
Though my health and energy fluctuate, by Your mercy, my visa was processed without issue. I beg for Your blessings to serve sincerely and wholeheartedly, overcoming laziness and mental dullness.
My śikṣā-guru, His Grace Harilīlāla Prabhu, encouraged me to support Māyāpur Hospital. Due to financial commitments, I hesitate to leave my current job, but I am ready to contribute remotely on my weekly off days. Please bless me to serve in whatever way I can.
My son completed his bachelor’s degree but has not progressed with his master’s. I do not know the Lord’s plan, but I seek Your blessings for both his academic progress and spiritual advancement.
I’ve also invested in property in Chennai, which is currently under litigation. Though they promise resolution by May 2025, I feel the effects of my poor decision-making and lack of careful judgment. I am also facing challenges in my household life, especially with my wife, who often misunderstands me. Please bless me to develop the right mood and become more steady, mature, and kind.
I sincerely pray for Your blessings to:
-
Serve with pure consciousness
-
Develop Vaiṣṇava qualities without offense
-
Apply everything I hear from sādhus and ācāryas
-
Follow spiritual life systematically and enthusiastically
-
Cultivate unflinching surrender
Always praying this, we eternally remain Your servants,
Your humble servant,
Sevā-pārāyaṇa Dāruka Dāsa