Hare Kṛṣṇa Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my respectful obeisances. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda.
All glories to you on your auspicious appearance day.
Guru Mahārāja, my dear wife, Parameśvarī Hāriṇī Devī Dāsī, often reminds me of and laughs about the day of our initiation, wherein I could not adequately beg you for initiation or comport myself properly in your presence. I remember standing in line, feeling quite despondent that all devotees were being moved along so quickly and that we would not have any time to have your close saṅga.
As it happened, when we approached you to receive our mālā and our new names, you glanced momentarily in my direction, and immediately, I experienced many hours. The truth is that in your glance, I felt so small and helpless, terrified of the vastness of creation. The whole world around me was like a boiling sea in a raging storm, and I was struck dumb. But there you stood—an immense tree, unbending and solid.
Your crown keeps the sky in place, your branches lift me from the waters, and your leaves shelter me from the rain. I am a fool, and my behavior is more befitting a monkey, but still, you keep me safe in your mighty boughs. You are a kalpavṛkṣa—when I desired your shelter, you granted it; when I desired wisdom, you granted it; when I desired your saṅga, you turned moments into hours.
Guru Mahārāja, please grant me the presence of mind to overcome my feeble thoughts and maintain control of my senses. Please give me the desire to serve your lotus feet sincerely and chant the Holy Names of the Lord with pure devotion.
My faults and impurities are immeasurable; every day, I make countless mistakes. I offer my heartfelt daṇḍavat-praṇāms and beg your forgiveness. You show me limitless mercy and ask so little in return. In my eyes, I am completely undeserving, and yet you have chosen me all the same. I hope that one day, I will be intelligent enough to realize that I should endeavor to earn the name you have given me and be worthy of the title of devotee.
Guru Mahārāja, I once heard that on the precipice of death, people will be visited by their deceased loved ones, who will welcome them to the afterlife. I pray that when my soul is called to depart this body, it is you who comes to tell me that it is time to go. Please keep me in your embrace and guide me firmly so that I may leave this world in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
Your foolish, insignificant servant,
Dayālu Trivikrama Dāsa (dīkṣā)
Sydney, Australia