My Dear Beloved Guru Mahārāja,
Please accept my koṭi koṭi daṇḍavats in the dust of your divine lotus feet on this most auspicious day of your appearance. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda our Founder ācārya! All glories to you, my most merciful Master!
I don’t know where to begin. When I stop to consider what you have done for me and my family and the devotees of New Tālavana, I become overwhelmed, thinking how much we love and appreciate you and how inadequate my words are. One thing I do know for certain is that if I did not know you, my life would have been wasted! Not knowing you, my birth would have been wasted!
In one of your Facebook Live classes not long ago, you were explaining the position of Śrīla Prabhupāda as the giver of Bhakti and how he has made our good fortune. After hearing this so many times, I finally understood! One who has the jewel of Bhakti can give it, causelessly! This is your priceless gift! You have made my good fortune for me, although I am so undeserving!
You have taken this legacy of Prabhupāda, as giver of Bhakti, at great cost! We see the result of your burden of love, how your health has been affected. It’s made me agonize and weep to see you undergoing these trials! Please forgive my offenses. My only consolation has been that I know that Kṛṣṇa is reciprocating with you in ways that I can’t even begin to imagine!
And then... the light... Now, when I see you getting better and stronger every day it makes my heart sing! I am beyond grateful that, as you said, you “...have come out of the cage of death,” to be with us, to continue to guide and protect us and to take us back to the lotus feet of the beautiful Golden Dancer! To hear from you now is more important than ever!
What can I do for you? I want to be a better devotee. I want to chant with more care and attention. I want to follow your instruction that, before I say or do anything I should think, “Is this pleasing to Nitāi-Gaura?” Please, continue to give me your mercy so that I can somehow satisfy you.
Now I am begging that you bless me to always love and serve you. I know you will never leave or disappoint me. I know you have made my good fortune! I know all this, and I am forever grateful!
Your very low servant,
Haridhvani devī dāsī
