Check to restrict your search with:
Menu

Vyāsa-pūjā 2018

Gaṅgeśvara Caitanya Dāsa (Brisbane - Australia)

Hare Krshna Dearest Guru Maharaj,

Dandavat Pranam

All glories to you, Srila Prabhupada, Brisbane Sri Nitai Gauranga and Mayapur Sri Radha Madhava

I am the offending aspiring son of yours, who has and is having challenges in keeping a consistent sadhana of minimum 16 rounds of japa a day and causing you so much pain. 

I also lost my initiated beads that you gave me nearly 2 years back. So if there is any process in JPS office to get a new initiated beads or even 1 bead of Tulsi from your hands, please advise me so I can try my level best to obtain it.

Many times even today, I just wished Krishna Katha Desh (KKD), where I re-connected with my Krishna consciousness should have rejected me in 2014 from getting Harinaam diksha from you, so that I would not have hurt you so much all these years. As I was pre-maturely serving my siksa guru in your service to Srila Prabhupada to please the Lord, I had to accept Harinaam diksha without qualification and spiritual experience.

However, I have come to understand that just like a Vedic marriage, there is a process for getting connected to a bona-fide spiritual master but not so clear one for breaking up. And at least a marriage last a life-time, but my connection with you lasts forever, even in the spiritual world if I ever step into that realm.

I have seen many devotees make a commitment to keep their chanting in check by reporting externally or keeping a record of it. So yesterday,  I again started reporting my chanting rounds to my siksha guru in KKD, His Grace Hari Kirtan Ranjan Das Prabhu, through whom Sri Krishna and you brought me in touch with ISKCON devotees. I pray to you and Nitai Gauranga that I will continue to chant properly and give the daily report to Hari Kirtan Prabhu, so I may be chastised and corrected timely, until I leave this body.

Guru Maharaj, I also did not write or speak a homage last year (2017) due to my transition from KKD to Brisbane for the 2nd time (the last was in 2015) in terms of job, country, devotees I associated with etc, working like an "donkey" and my shyness of speaking in unfamiliar crowd.

I like to share with you my spiritual roller coaster rides I have been experiencing over these two years due to my decisions and actions over these 2-3 years of not fully surrendering to you and their Lordships.

I moved to Brisbane from KKD in May 2015 to migrate the family, mainly for the material education benefits for the 2 children I was gifted, Kayshinie (daughter, now 13) and Guhanesh (son, now 12). As I could not get a job in Brisbane, I went back to KKD in January 2016 where I was offered a job with a past employer. I was there for 1 year and 2 months. 

In KKD as a part-time brahmachari, while my wife (Shantini) looked after the kids and worked very hard in Brisbane, I slowly built up a consistent sadhana of chanting my rounds, doing simple arati daily, reading Srimad Bhagavatam in Tamil to my mother (Jayarani) through Skype in Malaysia and attending Friday classes and little other seva for KKD devotees. Hari Kirtan Prabhu asked me to preach Bhagavad Gita and help him with some Bhakti Vriksa (BV) in English which I tried my best, including starting up a BV for high school students. I had a chance to serve Tulsi maharani who was growing for a while behind our backyard and circumbulating it for your health.

In addition, I got some chances of singing Guru Vandana at the Friday Srimad Bhagavatam class and also took 2-3 Srimad Bhagavatam preaching sessions in Tamil mixed with English in KKD. As I was earning quite well in KKD, I was able to contribute some laxmi to ToVP.

I was happy to compile a report to you in 2017 on the 2016 KKD Yatra Retreat where HG Vaikunthapati Prabhu was the chief guest. I hope you understood and enjoyed it. I was introduced to HG Tapan Meshra Prabhu from Mayapur Congregational Development Ministry, who asked me to do some powerpoint / research seva offline for two presentations to GBC / Ministry. However, I have not been working well with him as I was not focused and did not engage well.

Here in KKD, during 2016 and 2017, I was so happy that you fulfilled my desire by giving Harinaam diksa and shelter to many aspiring disciples who were very austere and consistent in KC such as HG Krishna Prabhu and his wife (Chennai), Rajendran Prabhu and Lakshmi Priya Mataji, PappuRaj Prabhu and Rajeswari Mataji, Karupiah Prabhu and Revathi Mataji, Sumathi Mataji (KKD) , Arjun Prabhu and Manju Mataji (Kanaiya Desh). 

However, I failed to support you and Hari Kirtan Prabhu in motivating 3 aspiring disciples, HG Mahesh Prabhu and the siblings, HG Gananen Prabhu and Abishini Mataji into maintaining their chanting and book reading sadhanas to move closer to shelter. These were devotees that I abandoned when we left KKD for Brisbane. More so, the two prabhus have gone into business. HG Abishini Mataji who is physically not in the best of health and shape, is finding it difficult to find a marriage suitor and works to support her parents and brother. Instead, I got angry with them for talking badly about other disciples of yours. I am at lost on how to support these 3 devotees.

Another happy moment was that you mercifully gave HariNaam diksa to Shantini with a beautiful name, Dasi Sriradha Santirupa Devi during Sri Radhastami last year. 

Once I came to Brisbane in March 2017, with the help of Sriradha, I was given weekly temple book table seva during Saturday feast quite consistently. In November 2017 onwards, I was given a bigger seva of administering the temple book distribution process and with all the local devotees marketing skills and some administration processes from my end, we did 10-20% better than last year's  HDG Srila Prabhupada marathon distribution. I am still engaged in this seva, and although I cannot distribute books directly, I am trying to support other devotees in book distribution. I pray for your blessings in learning how to distribute books directly and continuing to increase distribution of Srila Prabhupada's and his disciples.

We managed to also hold your Vyasa Puja celebration at the temple last year and this year we are enthusiastically planning for same, under the guidance of HG Murari Hari Prabhu and Sukesvari Rani Mataji. We hope to compile a report with pictures to you of the celebrations. We also tried to hold monthly JPS Sishya Seva meeting at one of your disciple's home, but it has been very difficult to get them together. We created a whatsapp group to share your messages daily, sharing messages from the enthusiastic devotees from KKD and Malaysia yatra. I need guidance of how to guide aspiring devotees in Brisbane to take up shelter and be ready for HariNaam diksa here. There is one Bengali mataji who has failed many times to get HariNaam diksa, her name Mayarani.

On my job side, I started driving taxi (Uber) and did a course on elderly care to earn laxmi to live in Australia. However by the Lord's mercy, on the last day of my elderly care training and being posted to a elderly care home, I got a similar job which I have been doing for the last 20 years. So now we are more settled economically and are trying to buy a small home to convert our rental payments to loan payments.

I also helped in cooking seva when requested. Recently it has become more consistently as I help Sriradha Santhirupa in fortnightly evening cooking for Brisbane Sri Sri Nitai Gauranga. 

The temple management asked me once to be involved in monthly once Srimad Bhagavatam preaching in February 2018, however, I said no as I was getting involved in too many seva and feared not doing any seva properly. I was also given 3 couple devotees and encouraged to start up a Bhakti Vriksa in October 2017. We did the Science of Self Realisation module last year in the devotees home on Sunday evenings, but this year I am having difficulty re-starting the sessions. Please advise me and give me your blessings to re-start these sessions.

The ToVP funding team visited Brisbane for raising funds in December 2017 and we were able to give a small amount of laxmi this month.

Recently the Brisbane has been trying to become more organised and having strategic meetings to set goals, mission and vision, and coordinate all the preaching seva. I am invited to be part of these monthly meetings and I have been given a seva in February 2018 to collate the interest of the Brisbane ISKCON yatra well-wishers and members in serving Srila Prabhupada's mission. I am personally not happy with the way the local temple manages it funding and expenditure, especially being from a finance and auditing background. However, I pray these meetings and my efforts in my seva in showing accountability and responsibility will set good examples on how an organisation should be run. My dream is that ISKCON Brisbane yatra has a very strong back-end support system in the areas of finance, administration, facilities management, scheduling of seva etc.

So in short Guru Maharaj the following are areas I need to improve:

- My chanting and reporting my sadhana at least 16 times daily

- Circumbulating Tulsi Maharani daily at least 8 times

- Helping Sriradha in keeping the children motivated in KC whilst letting them enjoy some materialistic perks and focusing them on getting a fulfilling job

- Helping Sriradha continue her seva enthusiastically

- Book distribution administration expansion seva

- Re-starting and expanding the Bhakti Vriksa

- Starting up the collation of interests of ISKCON Brisbane yatra well-wishers and devotees

Please forgive me if I offended you in anyway in this homage report. It talks a lot of what I did, because I know what I think, say and do affects your health, well-being and service to Srila Prabhupada and Their Lordships Nitai Gauranga and Sri Radha Madhava.

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Das Gangesvara Caitanya