Hare Kṛṣṇa Prabhu/Mataji,
Please accept my respectful obeisances! All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda and Gurudeva!
My dear, inspirational, wonderful, respected, heroic and kind-hearted Guru Mahārājā,
Wishing you many many many many more years of healthy life on this planet Earth!!
Please accept my respectful, fond and hankering tinged obeisances! All glories to Your Divine Grace, Śrīla Prabhupāda and the present and previous ācāryas!
Guru Mahārājā, I am so so so happy for you! Last year when I had written the offering, it was with the image of a tired you being wheeled away in the Gleneagles hospital in Chennai. As a kid who grew up seeing your exuberant and ecstatic angelic form, it was painful. But this year, I am so so so so happy. You are looking healthier. Your classes are longer and energetic. Your voice a lot better. Your body feeling more energy. The painful fluid extraction procedures no longer are needed. And historically, 10 years after 2008, you have yet again done the impossible.
With this happy heart, I would like to humbly request you walk again as well. This is also possible for you Guru Mahārājā. Hopefully next year, I would be in a more happier frame of mind seeing you walk at least a few kilometres on your own.
Your compassion is unfathomable
Guru Mahārājā, many a time people may have a stereotypical understanding of the concepts of vaishnavism like compassion, renunciation, etc. But an ācārya like you, following in the footsteps of your beloved master Śrīla Prabhupāda, who is Lord Nityānanda’s man, take the definition and understanding of these concepts to a different level.
Though its very painful to see you go through so much pains and sufferings, it's amazing how you use these to harvest the devotional feelings of devotees and their sadhana and place them at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa.
As jivatmas, souls like me are all bound in the action and reactions cycle spanning millions of lifetimes and struggling in this creation. And what hope is there for us? Our own bhakti or sadhana….?? Many many hours of chanting or hearing or service or constructing big big temples or gaining 1000s of followers by preaching or by solitary bhajan or reading many many shastras or whatever…..??
O! Never Guru Mahārājā, Never. Those may be like the many Vedic hymns which sing Kṛṣṇa’s glories or like the many prayers which the demigods offered after the Goverdhan pastime….Kṛṣṇa may accept these but for Him, these do not matter so much. What matters to Kṛṣṇa are His pure devotees like you. Nothing else matters for Him, isn’t it?
The only hope for the living entities is to assist someone very dear to the Lord who is executing His mission and by doing something insignificant to the pure devotee, a soul is specially blessed by the Lord.
Knowing this heart of the Lord, a pure devotee like you and many other past and present ācāryas like Lord Nityānanda Prabhu, Haridas Thakur, Koorathalwan, Jesus Christ, Vasudeva Dutta, etc, whose footsteps you follow, somehow or other make a case for us by somehow or other engaging us in some service you.
Lord Nityānanda Prabhu bled.
Lord Jesus Christ bled.
Śrī Haridasa Thakur bled.
Those drops of blood were what was needed to evoke that small little warmth in the heart of the jivatmas like Jagai and that was their saving grace. Had Lord Nityānanda Prabhu not bled and not displayed the kind selfless causeless love which He showed to Jagai and Madhai, what hope would have been there for them…. That one single act of Jagai to try protect Lord Nityānanda from getting injured for the second time made him a perfect vessel for Lord Caitanya to shower His blessings on him and bestow him Kṛṣṇa prema.
Similarly, the many deep cuts, the needle injections, those painful fluid extractions, oxygen cylinders, portable toiletry arrangements, surgeries, and whatnot…you go through all this and due to your kindness, you ask us all to pray for you, to do Tulasi parikrama for you, chant extra rounds for you…..And by this - you are saving us. And you made us accumulate so so so so much extra spiritual credits this Purusottama masa…..
A blessed Purusottama masa
When I would breathe my last in this body and when Kṛṣṇa would see my life full of envy and pride and what not, I am sure there would be one silver lining. And that silver lining, you have drawn. You made it happen. You made me pray for you. This Purushottama masa was a very special one.
When I die, if not anything, this is something which shall come with me from Kṛṣṇa’s perspective - ‘...this soul chanted some extra rounds for My dear Jayapataka….’. Irrespective of what and how my life becomes in the future, just like how Jagai tried to save Lord Nityānanda Prabhu, you have enabled us to be some little Jagais in trying to do something little for you by creating a situation as if you needed our prayers and thus, given a person like me a place in Kṛṣṇa’s book. Thank you so much Guru Mahārājā.
The two ekadasis which came by, due to the eagerness to see you cured and come back to normal state of being, many of us cried and sincerely chanted more than 100 rounds on those days. It was ecstatic an experience to come together with devotees all over the world and chant for you.
The Warrior Protector of Unity
One of the things which is special about you which I have heard and also experienced first hand is the unifying spirit that you carry in your heart. You have so much so much love in the heart and unending compassion for jivatmas, more so, for devotees who have taken up this process of bhakti….that despite everything, you want all of the devotees to come together and practice bhakti happily under the umbrella of loving relationships. You made that happen Guru Mahārājā, Even being so sick externally, your spirit brought many of us together for the common cause.
As ISKCON movement is growing far and wide with so many flavours and varieties of devotees and what not, the selfless sacrificing spirit of few good men like you, who have put aside all your personal interests and projects and kept this movement going on strong and united, is so much needed to keep it going strong. As one after another of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s disciples return back to their master, I used to be very worried at times about how this important transition from the Prabhupāda disciples era to the next era is going to be happening and how would this selfless sacrificing leadership attributes would get passed on…..but now that your health is restored, my hopes have soared. As the warrior protector of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s movement, you would be there to see through the transition. You would be there to ensure that this unifying aspect of your personality and that of many of your illustrious Godbrothers and Godsisters would be passed onto qualified leaders who would take this movement forward. You would serve as the bridge between the legacy of the past, and the newness and endless possibilities of the future. You would be there Guru Mahārājā….you would be there for a long time….the Warrior Protector of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s movement...a dedicated all-weather soldier of your spiritual master and the movement which he created.
August 15th 2018 - true Independence day
Guru Mahārājā, August 15th is generally celebrated in India as independence day. But you know what, August 15th 2019 shall remain a special Independence day. It was the day when heart really really felt relieved from a ghost of slavery which was haunting since few years.
We used to get reports of the fluid accumulation in the stomach and how painful is that procedure to take out the fluid. And also the concomitant gas increase in the body due to it and how in due course of time things became inevitable that you need to undergo this transplant….
Guru Mahārājā, even as I write this, eyes become wet. What a day it was! No food, no water...just chanting and begging the Lord and Śrīmad Bhagavatam. Every single WhatsApp report made me skip a heartbeat. It was a make or break day. That day brought out all our innate feelings which many of us have for you. The unthinkable possibility that we may never see you again if the operation were to not turn out successful made me cry profusely. Śrīla Prabhupāda, during his final days was an expert in fine tuning and harvesting the best of the fine feelings which his dear disciples had for him. And as an expert master, you were also doing the same from many of us.
It was desperation….whoever possible, started to take help in requesting prayers. Father prayed, mother prayed, brother prayed, house landlords prayed, some of my religious-minded friends prayed, and even the pet cats at home, we made them do extra Tulasi parikrama for you. (These little felines do quite a bit of Tulasi parikramas for you Guru Mahārājaā)
Guru Mahārājā, I do not know how the vanaras felt when Lakshman was wounded and as they eagerly awaited the return of Hanuman with the good news of bringing the Sanjivini plant, but that day, by you performing this lila of this operation, got to experience how those moments could have been. It was super tense. Anxiety filled the heart. Heart was heavy. Many of us were like the little vanaras rooting for you and cheering you up in whatever little way we could. As things were to be, Dr. Rela, who happens to be a great fan of Kamba Ramayana was doing the surgery to the most dear servant of Lord Nityānanda Lakshmana…the setting was similar.
The first news came of the successful liver transplant… phew!!! What a relief. A sea of gratitude filled the heart. THANK YOU, my Lord, for listening to even my insignificant prayers. This gave a new energy to chant more intensely and enthusiastically. The second good news of kidney transplant did not come for 5 hours or so. The happiness which many of us experienced a while ago seemed to have been short-lived. The anxiety mode came in again. When all hope is lost, you and my beloved teachers have taught me one thing...or rather one person - Lord Narasimhadeva deva…..And finally, Narasimhadeva deva did the needful and the happy news came after a long wait that the kidney transplant is also done. How wonderfully, by putting yourself under the knives, you made us shed tears, chants and intense prayers for you.
Guru Mahārājā, at the end of the day, it’s by your own sweet will and Kṛṣṇa's will that your operation was successful. When Kṛṣṇa was lifting Goverdhan hill, many little gopas held up their sticks thinking that it is due to their holding the stick that Goverdhan is not coming down. Similarly, we may be praying, chanting, etc. but it's your kindness that you are giving us an opportunity for us to do so.
When history would be written by the demigods to depict a heatmap of good things on this planet post-2000, 2008 October and 2018 August would have seen maximum prayers and auspicious things being done all over the surface of this planet. How much love you inspire from the many millions of souls whose life you have touched….
Please place me among the crowd…..
Guru Mahārājā, over the 1 year you stayed in Chennai, I got to visit you a couple of times in the huge apartment complex you stayed. The first time when you had just arrived there and getting things sorted out, and the second time when you were leaving after the successful surgery. To own a place in such an apartment complex is not so easy and seeing the posh people there, the big rich cars, etc made me feel out of place. On my own, would I ever be allowed to enter such a palatial setting? But there I was...so were the many bramacari servants who might never ever dream of being in such posh houses and communities ever in their lives….. Same is the case with the highly elevated spiritual abodes. Though one may want to go there, am I really qualified enough to be there? Answer is no, but the grace of the parampara is the only hope. If that were also not to be there, what would be the destination? Where would I go?
As you would cycle through the huge towers and big driveways, I was like….a no one. I knew no one there. Except for 1 or 2 servants who serve you, I knew no one. It was like a void...strange feeling…. It gave a thought what would be the case when the soul leaves the body and enters the spiritual world. Who would be there who might welcome me… whom would I know there…...would they know me….so many insecure thoughts came through the mind. Would I be welcomed in that familiar yet strange land….?
Guru Mahārājā, one of the insecurities or confusions which comes in our relationship is…...do you know me? Would you place me amongst many in a crowd? Though I take so much inspiration from your existence, qualities, vani and feel secure enough a feeling to take shelter of your qualities and personality, a doubt always lingers on….. So many devotees seem close to you and you also seem to be knowing them. Somehow, I never had that kind of 2-way relationship with you apart from some interactions from pre-stroke era from which I take much strength from… one of the desires is, at least before I leave this body, I would be happy if you sort of know me as so and so, and me also having that kind of relationship where I could come up straight to you and speak with that I-know-you-you-know-me kind of security. That's a humble prayer to you. Please place me…..
One more thing...over the last year, among many other things which I did which I never did over last 20 years or so since I came in touch with devotees is to watch movies. And you are just like the heroes on the silver screen and the things which they stand for. Guru Mahārājā, for me, you are the Dark Knight whom this movement needs but does not deserve to have. You are like Ethan Hunt, doing the Impossible Missions when everything seems lost and even when closest of people, who are supposed to understand your good intentions, seem to misunderstand. In the end, it's the caring good heart which you carry that wins. That heart which cares about the one soul in as much as it cares about the millions. Salutes Commander!!!
Guru Mahārājā, so happy for you. Please consider my humble request to you on walking so that by next Vyāsa-pūjā we would all be more happy to sing your glories even more.
Hare Kṛṣṇa Guru Mahārājā, feeling really happy for you, desiring to be a loving servant of a servant of a servant, Śrī Narasimhadeva dasa
with sincere thanks,
trying to serve,
Śrī Narasimha dasa