nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale śrīmate jayapatākā-svāmin iti nāmine
namo ācāryapādāya nitāi-kṛpa-pradāyine gaura-kathā dhāma dāya nagara-grāma tāriṇe
My dear spiritual father,
Please accept my humble obeisance at your lotus feet and please forgive any offences I may make in this attempt to glorify you on your auspicious 70th Vyāsa-pūjā day!
You once said that Lord Nityānanda’s mercy knows no limits and dear Guru Mahārāja I have observed this in you too. How else would anyone accept so many disciples including an arrogant fool such as myself and which you mercifully reprimanded me for, right after my dīkṣā initiation? It has been a long hard road towards dismantling this particular façade but one that I am eternally grateful to you for caring enough to bring to my attention.
Those halcyon days in the eighties and nineties when you would visit the Manor regularly for meetings and I was fortunate enough along with a handful of god sisters to be able to render some small service. Now I have to be content with associating with you through your books and your orders, serving you in your vani form and that is as it should be, Vani is more important than vapuh, I know because it continues to exist eternally.
But sometimes it feels like that I am existing on the edge of humanity out in a corner of the UK some 3 hours from The Manor and the association of devotees and my god brothers and sisters, trying to assist in expanding the Bhakti Vrksa community, watering and nurturing their devotional creepers as well as my own. For it is only in serving Guru, as you have taught us in the unflinching way you are serving Śrīla Prabhupāda that we ourselves are spiritually fed and watered.
You have always been present in your vani form if only I had the intelligence and the devotion to experience it and benefit from it.
I remember well the first time I saw you Guru Mahārājā, you had just arrived at Bhaktivedanta Manor on a summers’ day and was striding across the lawn with arms magnanimously outstretched to embrace another Sanyasi. This resonated so deeply with me that I knew I had found my Spiritual father. Up to that point I had been resisting the pressure from my authorities to commit to accepting a Guru but that day when I saw your nature and humanity and the deep connection it made in my heart, I knew that I could commit to this person. And later, slowly, the fragments in my memory of my eternal relationship with you began to piece themselves together in my heart like a jigsaw.
sa guruh sa pita capi
sa mata bandhavo ’pi sah
siksayec cet sada smartum
hare namaiva kevalam
“That person is a true guru, a true father, a true mother and a true relative only if they teach one to always remember – the holy name of Hari alone.”
The events of the past year regarding your health have been a roller coaster of intense prayer and austerities in an effort to keep you here longer with us. This has had the effect of bringing us, your disciples closer together. Just like a mother hen who spreads her wings to gives shelter to all her brood, so Kṛṣṇa’s plan meant that we reached out to one another united in renewed love and devotion for you. Certainly Kṛṣṇa was instrumental in supporting you through what to most individuals would be insurmountable challenges. But your love for Śrīla Prabhupāda and your faith in the holy name gave you the determination to carry on fulfilling the order of your spiritual master. This proves, if proof were needed, that you are indeed an empowered soul, completely surrendered to His Divine Grace Śrīla Prabhupāda, faithfully and steadfastly assisting him in carrying out the message of Śrī Caitanya Mahaprabhu through this entire world.
Gurudeva, however much more time I have left in this body please empower me to work more honestly, more diligently and more closely in your footsteps.
I wish you an ecstatic and blissful 70th Appearance day surrounded by your loving disciples and pray toTheir Lordships Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava, Śrī Panchatattva and Śrī Narashimadev for your protection and good health.
Begging to remain your eternal servant
Taruni Rādhikā devī dāsī (Diksa),
Norwich Yātrā, Norwich, England, UK