Jaya Guru Maharaja. Happy 70th Vyasa Puja.
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to Your Divine Grace, Acharyapada.
Eternally indebted to your mercy upon me. Happy to observe it as a disciple and as your personal servant. I'm not much of a thinker so hence might not get well with the writing of your appreciation but I'm damn sure you will understand my feelings.
Last year had been a horrible nightmare for all of your disciples, well wishers and ISKCON devotees. It was more of a shock to see you closely in that precarious situation of your health than others. I remember quite after starting of this phase, you came to Mayapur to pay your respects to your Lordships on Gaur Purnima. You wasn't fit and had to take ascites out by performing a procedure on the day or a day before Gaur Purnima. You quickly left back to Chennai. In Chennai, you presented yourself to your disciples on your Vyasa Puja with lots of bandages and lines on your body. Dilemma; if to celebrate the Vyasa Puja or stay put in remorse of our sins. It ended up with every second or third day paying visits to the hospital to get you a relief for next couple of days and back to the hospital. Though to and fro to hospital was unpleasing but seemed no other way out. I'm sorry to bring this memory but it will always give me a chance to not get you back in that situation by acting weirdly but be an exemplary in my deeds so as not to cause any harm to you and bring any glory instead, whatever I can.
You have always been staying calm and dependant on Srila Prabhupada. I had read about this in Srimad Bhagavatam. Let's take an example of Ambarish Maharaja who didn't budge an inch when Durvasa Muni tried to take on him. So do you, not a faintest of fear of loosing whilst standing at the door of departure from this world. I'm happy that you are back. Back to lead us again, back to preach, back to travel and transpire many, back to fullfil your mission to Srila Prabhupada's vision.
I would like to reflect back on some of antidote of your lilas. Your feeling of crying at the remembrance of Param Karuna song and actual crying indeed is an example your spontaneous love for Krishna and Gauranga. Due to your extensible nature you can't help but meet your disciples, talk to them over phone or email even at 10, 11 o'clock at night. Your dedication to take care of your body in the thought that it is given to you by Krishna as a privilege to serve your spiritual master. At the same time your extensive act of preaching as soon as you gather some strength, you give out all your gathered energy, you make sure to squeeze it to almost nothing till you retire to bed. This acts are acitanyabhedabhed. Your magnanimous nature drives you to initiate more and more even after the repeated episodes of poor health. Your way of receiving a mere plastic trophy but filled with love and an admiration from a well wisher. You said to protect it very carefully. At first you said if you should give it back to her as it could be offensive if it gets misplaced or broken. You are so sensitive to vaisnava sadachar. I, myself, had extreme difference of opinion with some devotees, thank you for solving it in your way. You are one of your kind. Chastisement given by you have given me great joy. Filled in the gaps and connected the dots to make a sense in my life. Learning in staying close and serving you has been so warm and touching. I hope to always cherish this movements in heart of my heart and keep gathering them by continuing to serve you, forever. Celebrating festivals in Chennai at low scale but with same enthusiasm. Making doctors and sisters to chant. Many vouched for many number of rounds and committing to see ISKCON temples. Engaging devotees there in simplest service of counting cycle paddles to the biggest up to registering your name for liver and kidney transplant, you are awesome. On the day of your operation chances of successful surgery where 50%. You still went on to take a chance to fullfil your dream project-Temple Of Vedic Planetarium and many other services to Srila Prabhupada. After the operation things started coming positive but not completely, organs took its time to kick off and you asked doctors "Is there any chance for me." it was heart melting. Krishna blessed with all fortune that he gave you all your might to fight back the attacks of Kali and spread Gauranga's name everywhere you travel, again. I thank from the bottom of my heart to all the doctors and senior disciples of your health forum for their unparalleled contribution.
You always appreciate your godbrothers, godsisters, GBCs, senior devotees. You show that in physical form by giving them a token of your love in the form of some gifts during GBC meeting every year. Your love and care to your disciples has found a new way to connect with them by broadcasting your lectures every day on internet. A step ahead, by interacting with them personally at the end of class. Thought of some improvisation in SIDC has taken you by the thought of making e-governance, e-care etc. Awaiting to see this things get unfolded. A deep burning desire to unite Saraswat Gaudiya Vaisnava Association.
I could see your longing to get back to your home - Sridham Mayapur, when you were staying away for health reason. You could take it in so positive way that you said if you were not allowed by Mahäprabhu to enter into dham due to have caused some aparadha to some vaisnava. Which even in rarest of anyone's dream, you have not. So just showed us how careful are you about vaisnava aparadha and vaisnava dealings and taking situations in positive mood, looking bad in oneself and keeping others at high place. Your glories are unlimited even to my limited brain. I tried explaining a few of them here.
I thank you for everything in my life and owe you countlessly. I beg your pardon for all my offences and misdeeds committed in your service. Desire to not repeat them ever. In very a few certainties of life, one is, if I serve and please you, it's the goal of my life. Beg to be always guided by your wisdom.
I pray to Radha Madhav Astasakhis, Panchatattva, Prahlad Narasimhadeva and Srila Prabhupada to keep you healthy and never to come across any health problems. Many times due to being so close I have develop familiarity and caused offences in serving you. I humbly fall at your feet and beg to be forgiven. Begging for courage to carry on serving you eternally and cooperate with other servants, just let this two things in my life, go hand in hand.
Your servant always
Ākarṣaka Caitanya dāsa