Dearest Gurudev,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Śrila Prabhupada!
I cannot seem to find the words the properly to express my gratitude to you, for how does one begin to address an offering to person who is the reason I exist?
You were the one that arranged for my parents to get married, gave them the blessing to have a child, fed me my first grains and instructed our family to move to Mayapur. And, we did. Due to your mercy and guidance, I grew up in lush green fields of Lord Gauranga's Dhama, surrounded by a gaggle of little devotees in SMIS, and was given the answers to age-old questions like "what is the purpose of life" before I even learned "twinkle-twinkle little star".
When I decided to take shelter, I remember being scared out my mind because no one exactly had explained to 11-year-old me if I met all the requierments, or if I had any lines to recite. You turned to my dad, Vaikuntha Nitai, once the ceremony was over and said "you may be her material father, but I am now forever her spiritual father, ha ha!" and all the knots in my chest sprang undone as we all burst into laughter.
Two years later, we recieved news that your health was once again troubled, and I beseeched my parents to let me get initiated because "if Gurudev doesn't give me diksha, who will?!"
The preparation for first initiation had me fervently flipping through the First Canto of the Srimad Bhagavatam and then switching back to my Chemistry homework, trying to meet a never-ending sea of deadlines. The Matajis in the JPS office that foresaw my examination, as well the teachers for the disciple course, had watched my grow up, so they cooed as I fumbled to recite all my ślokas.
However, I was still shroud in a cloak of questions such as "are you sure you want to get initiated? aren't you too young?" but my answer vehemently remained the same: "if Gurudev doesn't give me Diksha, who will?"
As I clasped my new japa beads on Gaura Purnima of 2017, and went to hug my friends and family for the first time as Taptakancani Radhika Devi Dasi, I felt an overwhelming sense of home. This is where I belonged- at the lotus feet of my Guru and his beloved, effulgent Golden Lord. I beg you, please allow me to forever remain in your mellow shelter, so that I may join you in the ecstatic sankirtana party of Śri Panca Tattva at the end of this life.
Forever indebted to you,
your daughter, Taptakancani Radhika Devi Dasi