nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate jayapatākā svāmin iti nāmine
nama ācārya-pādāya nitāi-kṛpā-pradāyine
gaura-kathā-dhāma-dāya nagara-grāma-tāriṇe
All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda.
All, all, all glories to You, dear Guru Mahārāja.
Please accept my respectful praṇāmas at Your lotus feet, dear Guru Mahārāja.
This is your servant and daughter, Giteśvarī Viṣṇupriyā Devī Dāsī, from New Delhi, India.
I meditate upon Your Holiness and offer pārijāta flowers at Your lotus feet. Please accept the fragrant juhī garland meant for You.
On this most blessed occasion, I wish You—and myself—a very happy Vyāsa-pūjā day. Thank You, dear Guru Mahārāja, for appearing to save us. Thank You very, very much for finding me and giving me Your causeless mercy.
Today, on Mahāśivarātri day, during the Caitanya-caritāmṛta class, You mentioned that there shall be a checkup to see how the skin cancer is progressing. This word—cancer—is so frightening to even hear. But You said it so easily, as if it were just some routine check-up. So much suffering You are accepting—for all of us—to set an example, and to continue guiding us with love.
Every fortunate year You extend, bear, stretch Yourself—for someone as low as me. How much more will You continue to give us? I don’t deserve even a speck of such generous, heartful mercy. But still, You keep giving and giving, never expecting anything in return. The sufferings You endure—every needle entering Your veins, the blue and purple bruises on Your hands from repeated insertions—all this I see daily, and I know it is because of my fallen condition.
In my everyday life, the big and small lies I speak, the offenses and sins I commit—You are taking all of it upon Yourself—and only giving me blessings in return, every single day.
I only pray to Lord Kṛṣṇa to help me become truthful and faithful to You. You are showing every moment, every breath of Your fragile life: “Look at Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu… Look at His mercy… Surrender unto Him… Take advantage… Avail of this advantage. This is the way—the easy way.” You are showing us by your own example.
Yet still, I remain immersed in sense gratification and bodily comforts, ignoring Your pain. Your dialysis drains the last drop of energy from Your body, and still You preach and care for me. Constantly, You are guiding me to the safest goal, even at the cost of Your health, Your body, and Your remaining time on Earth.
On this most fortunate day, I pray to You—please bless me with Your special mercy, that I may develop a distaste for all this nonsense. I want to rise above and remind myself of Your sacrifices every single day for my benefit.
I beg You for forgiveness—for sinning so much, for speaking lies, for hurting others, for killing mosquitoes and tiny souls, for causing You so much pain, for not chanting attentively so many times. I want to give up all these bad habits. I truly desire to become pure and fully surrendered to You—for all that You are doing for me, and the whole world.
You know everything, as You are Caitya-guru, residing in my heart along with Kṛṣṇa. You know my heart. I feel miserable, and I know this harms You. So I beg Kṛṣṇa for mercy to change what I have nurtured since so many births.
I wish to truly surrender unto You and serve You. But it’s not happening. Because I am so fallen, even Kṛṣṇa seems to be rejecting me, not helping me. Only Your mercy can help me and save me from further degradation.
My heart wishes to do something to please You, but I keep failing due to my sinful actions and materialistic desires.
Dear Guru Mahārāja, You are so dedicated and faithful to Your spiritual master. I am Your daughter. Why can’t I have even a single drop from the ocean of Your magnanimous nature?
You are serving Śrīla Prabhupāda every breath of Your life—by Your actions, intentions, words, mind, and body. You have given away gallons of blood in service to Your spiritual master. I too desire to be like You. Please help me to be like You, Father.
Only Your causeless mercy can change me and my existence. Otherwise, I have no hope in life. I beg forgiveness for my mistakes, sins, and offenses toward You.
My merciful Father, if there is any good in me, it is this: the intention and realization that I want to serve You—and I really mean it. Please help me.
I had mentioned to You in my last homage, that I, along with my family, have a surprise for You, which we want to present on the first day of Puruṣottama month (which we believe will make You happy, as Śrīla Prabhupāda will also be pleased by it). Even after collecting all the resources and working so hard, it still seems so difficult to bring it to completion.
We were supposed to present it to You during the last Puruṣottama month on the 18th of July, but it didn’t happen—because only Your mercy and blessings can make it happen. Please bless us to be successful in our desire and endeavor to serve You and please You—especially with this Puruṣottama month surprise.
Dear Guru Mahārāja, many, many heartfelt gratitudes to You for accepting me. For taking so much pain for me.
I promise to endeavor hard to become a better person and a good devotee. Please bless me in my efforts.
Thank You, dear Guru Mahārāja.
Once again, I wish both myself and You a very, very happy, blessed, and fortunate Vyāsa-pūjā.
All, all, all glories to You, dear Guru Mahārāja.
Your insignificant servant and daughter,
Giteśvarī Viṣṇupriyā Devī Dāsī