Hare Kṛṣṇa
All glories to Śrīla Prabhupāda.
All glories to His Holiness Jayapatākā Guru Mahārāja.
Please accept my daṇḍavat-praṇāms at your lotus feet, which destroy the cycle of repeated birth and death.
gurur eva gatiḥ gurum eva bhaje
guruṇaiva sahāsmi namo gurave
na guroḥ paramaṁ śiśur asmi guroḥ
matir asti gurau mama pāhi guro
“The guru is always my refuge. I always worship the guru. I am always with the guru. Obeisance unto the guru. There is none higher than the guru. I am a child of the guru. My mind is on the guru. Please protect me, O guru!” — Śabda-mañjarī
My Dear Guru Mahārāja,
Without your mercy, I don't know what would have happened to me. I was in the darkest ignorance, but you, O my dear Guru Mahārāja, opened my eyes, dispelling the darkness and protecting me with light. You are the representative of Śrī Hari—so says Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura. You are always my shelter.
yo mantraḥ sa guruḥ sākṣād yo guruḥ sa hariḥ svayam
gurur yasya bhavet tuṣṭas tasya tuṣṭo hariḥ svayam
“The mantra is directly the guru, and the guru is Hari Himself. Hari Himself is pleased with one with whom the guru is pleased.” — Bhakti-sandarbha 237 and Hari-bhakti-vilāsa 4.353
I am very unqualified to sing your glories. My words fall short because there is no limit to your glory. I am a mūḍha, a narādhama, burdened by the four human defects—bhrama, pramāda, vipralipsā, and karaṇāpāṭava. I often feel depressed, wondering if a person like me, full of lust, greed, anger, and so many faults, can ever enter the spiritual abode. But when I remember you, I feel confident that even though I am unqualified, you will always protect and bless me so that I may enter the spiritual world.
I cannot perform your vāpū-sevā, and thinking about this often makes me distressed. However, I am fully aware that I must follow your vāṇī-sevā, and I am trying my best to follow it. I also know that if I disregard your words, I will fall into hell.
sarva-bhakti-vyatikaraḥ sva-guror vāg anādaraḥ
dveṣeṇa nārakaṁ yāti kurvan bhaktim api dvija
“One who, out of hatred, acts contrary to all the rules of devotional service, disrespecting the words of the guru, goes to hell, despite performing bhakti.” — Sātvata Tantra 4.49
But please, O my dear Guru Mahārāja, allow me to engage in your service. This is my deepest desire.
śrī-guro paramānanda premānanda-phala-prada
vrajānanda-pradānanda-sevāyāṁ māṁ niyojaya
“O Śrī Guru! O Supreme Bliss! O bestower of the fruit of the bliss of prema! O bestower of the bliss of Vraja! Please engage me in the bliss of service.” — Sādhanāmṛta-candrikā 1.51
sarva-sādhana-mukhyā hi guru-sevā sadādṛtā
yayā bhaktir bhagavati hy añjasā syāt sukhāvahā
“Of all the activities of sādhana, the most important is service to the guru. By that service, devotion to the Supreme Personality of Godhead is quickly, easily, and happily attained.” — Sātvata Tantra 4.51
If I have more devotion to you than to Śrī Hari, Bhagavān will surely bestow His mercy by granting me His darśana.
bhaktir yathā harau me'sti tad variṣṭhā gurau yadi
mamāsti tena satyena sandarśayatu me hariḥ
“If I have more devotion for the guru than for Śrī Hari Himself, then, through this truth, Lord Hari will surely reveal Himself to me.” — Padma Purāṇa
Despite your physical health challenges, you are serving Śrīla Prabhupāda selflessly. When I think about this, my hair stands on end. You love Śrīla Prabhupāda so much! If I could have even 1% of your love for Śrīla Prabhupāda towards you, my life would be successful.
You are a manifestation of Nityānanda Prabhu. You are patita-pāvana. Thinking of this makes me happy, knowing that I will be saved! But I am such a kapaṭī that again, I feel demotivated. Yet, I know that even though I am a crooked person, you will still save me. You are the savior of all!
Please, dear Guru Mahārāja, rescue me! I surrender to you.
trāyasva bho jagannātha
guro saṁsāra-vahninā
dagdhaṁ māṁ kāla-daṣṭaṁ ca
tvām ahaṁ śaraṇaṁ gataḥ
“O spiritual master, O master of the worlds, please rescue me, who am bitten by time and burned by the flames of repeated birth and death. I surrender to you and take shelter of you.” — Vaiṣṇava-tantra, quoted in Hari-bhakti-vilāsa
Please, Gurudeva, forgive me for my offenses committed against your lotus feet. How shameless I am, committing pāpas (sins) and aparādhas (offenses) since time immemorial, yet still asking for your forgiveness! But I know that you will forgive me for all my offenses. I truly believe this.
I do not know about Śrī Bhagavān, but I know that you will save me. Because you, Bhagavān’s dearest servant, have accepted me, Bhagavān and Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī will surely accept me. Then I will be able to eternally engage in the service of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Bhagavān Kṛṣṇa, and the Vaiṣṇavas.
I will try to follow your orders selflessly—if you bestow your mercy upon a fallen soul like me. Otherwise, due to my kapaṭī nature, I will not be able to perform selfless service.
Gurudeva, please protect me. Please protect me. Please protect me.
yo’ndhīkṛtya kutarka-ghūka-paṭalīm ajñāna-mohāndha-hṛt
saṁnudaṁś ca kukarma-jāḍyam abhito hṛt-padmam ullāsayan
rādhā-mādhava-gūḍha-rūpa-saraṇīm udbhāṣayan bhāskaraḥ
sa tvaṁ śrī-gurudeva pāhi patitaṁ māṁ dīnam andhaṁ janam
“He who blinds the owls of sophistry,
Removes the darkness of ignorance and delusion,
Dispels the dullness of misdeeds,
Causes the lotus of the heart to bloom completely,
And illuminates the path
To the confidential forms of Rādhā and Mādhava—
May you, that sun, O Śrī Gurudeva,
Please protect me,
A fallen, lowly, and blind person.” — Sādhanāmṛta-candrikā 1.48
May Bhagavān Nṛsiṁhadeva, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Keśava, and Śrīla Prabhupāda bless you with good health so that you may very soon fulfill Śrīla Prabhupāda’s mission and keep flooding this world with your mercy.
Your dāsa-dāsānudāsa,
Ādi Vāsudeva Dāsa